6 year relationship, 2 toddlers 2 and 4. It's only been 3 months and she's moved into and taken over the lease on her new boyfriend, of one months, house. He's less than a year paroled and had a history of drug use. She has borderline disorder and a history of bad decisions. We have no legal agreement in place. She wants to take them to stay with her overnight but won't be forthcoming about who she lives with or the actual address. My info is only from what I've been able to piece together as she's been very intentionally vague and dishonest with me. I am VERY uncomfortable with the idea of it but she says I have no right and keeps threatening me with cops and courts. I just want to do the right thing but can't trust her anymore and don't think it's right she's already been involving this guy in our boys' lives and having them call him in uncle...I know I have to get over that...but to stay the weekends, or if she has her way, move them in?
No legal agreements or orders? Then get them. With what you describe, you will need a lawyer. Make that a priority. You don't say if you are legally established as father--a big vulnerability if you're bot. Depending on details, there may be an Order of Protection filing lurking.
Yes you definitely need to make sure you are legally established as the kids' father (if you signed a VAP for each at the time of birth, or by filing a parentage case in court), and then pursue appropriate relief in court with regard to parenting issues including decision-making and parenting time schedule. You should move forward on this quickly.
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