One of you will have to start an action. It sounds like a fairly simple divorce. You can either hire an attorney or try to process the matter yourself. Information can be found on the office of court administration website. Good luck.
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No, based upon the information you've provided above, you are not "legally" separated. Nevertheless, you can still obtain a divorce quickly and without great expense. You may be able to complete the necessary paperwork on your own. Before proceeding, I strongly recommend you at least consult with a local attorney to review all your rights, options and obligations, so you can make the best possible decisions under the circumstances. You can find attorneys in your area by searching among the profiles here on AVVO. Good luck!
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You would not be "legally separated" by just living apart. Based upon the facts you present and if both parties are willing, you should be able to obtain a fairly simple uncontested divorce which would then legalize your split.