In North Carolina, illicit sexual behavior, or cheating, is a complete bar to an award of alimony for the dependent spouse. Proof of cheating is often hard to obtain. You may want to consult with a private detective regarding your wife's behavior. Although cheating matters when it comes to spousal support, it has no bearing on her entitlement to an equitable distribution of the marital estate.
Your military retirement is considered martial property if you made contributions during your marriage. Therefore, even though your wife has cheated on you, she will be entitled to a portion of your military retirement. These are the rules in North Carolina. You may find that after you retire, you may choose to move to another state. Other states may have different rules when it comes to marital property and fault. I would encourage you to consult with a local attorney to establish custody and visitation to make sure your children maintain some stability.
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