All good points for your criminal defense attorney to raise.
NOT LEGAL ADVICE. FOR EDUCATION AND INFORMATION ONLY. Mr. Rafter is licensed to practice in the Commonwealth of Virginia and the US Federal Courts in Virginia. There is no implied or actual attorney-client relationship arising from this education exchange. You should speak with an attorney licensed in your state, to whom you have provided all the facts before you take steps that may impact your legal rights. Mr. Rafter is under no obligation to answer subsequent emails or phone calls related to this matter.
Unfortunately this sequence of events is seen all too often. A couple things you should do. Hire an attorney so they can get any and all police reports regarding the alleged offense. Make sure to request any photographs of the alleged victim, and any audio tapes from the officer's personal recording devices and/or vehicle recording devices. Also, and most importantly, do not talk to the alleged victim. While she may have made some admissions to the police when they arrested you, trying to get her to get on "your side" now is only going to cause you more problems, especially if the court put in a restraining order.
The information that Brett Burns gave you is good; in fact, if I was you I would contact her about representing you in this matter. In domestic assault cases to often people plead guilty to just get it behind them or to save money, and that guilty plea comes back to haunt them. It may be expensive to hire a lawyer in a case like this, but it is more than worth it.
Nothing in this answer should be construed as legal advise and does not establish an attorney-client relationship without a signed legal services agreement