My ex is asking for me to see a therapist the courts agree so I am willing but ... : My ex has me looking terrible in front of judge judge wants a letter from therapist to show certain things so I can get custody back of my child. I am fine with that whatever it takes but the judge said my ex gets to pick the therapist !!! I am not ok with that !! He doesn't have to see the therapist just me so I don't feel comfortable at all not free to talk to therapist what are my legal rights ??? I have time to appeal this still. My current therapist is livid she says that's not ok . I was going to see another one in addition to my current one but no way having one my ex picks our issues in court are my exs control issues !!!
Tashfeen’s answer: In my opinion, unfortunately, one of the way to handle it would be to file a motion to request change in who gets to select the therapist. I say "unfortunately" because that means you have to go through the hassle of going through another court hearing, wait time until that hearing date, and then finally having to attend that hearing. The other option would be to file an ex-parte motion to clarify orders for selection of therapist. I'm going to assume that the orders are clear enough that you felt the need to post this question. But the goal isn't to actually "clarify", but to have the opportunity to have an audience with the judge sooner than on a regular calendared motion. Ofcourse, you must mention that you wish to keep your current therapist as your evaluator for the court. However, most likely that request will be denied, because your current therapist might be considered biased. But again, the goal is to get in court sooner than later. No guarantees that you'll have your request granted on an "ex-parte" basis though. Just a suggestion. Good luck. I'm sure other attorneys may come up with other creative ways to approach your situation.
Explanation of California 3044 presumption pertaining to DVRO and Child Custody.:
I admitted to the judge last year that i sternly spoke to my EX about some serious things she was telling my kids. He granted the DVRO for 1 year but denied it being a stay away order and called it a cooling off period for me and my ex. He did not ask me to take classes and i did not lose legal custody of my kids nor was my kids listed in the DVRO. He stated on the record " I don't see this as the sort of -- at least from what I've heard today and the rulings that I've made as a case where the 3044 presumptions would apply or wouldn't be rebutted." He stated on the record that i am a good father who loves his kids.
I am now trying to work for more custody with my kids. Can My EX's attorney trigger the 3044 presumption still? She is contesting the request for more custody..
It seems like you have obtained a copy of the transcript from that hearing. So, I would suggest you file that with the court so that the judge has an opportunity to review what you are referring to.
If you have not already filed a reply declaration to your ex's response, you should go ahead and do so, and quote the provision in your reply declaration, so that the judge doesn't have to search through his court records to pull up the transcript to read that part.
If the previous judge already stated on the record that a 3044 presumption was not triggered back then when the event was recent, then I don't think any judge in their right mind would NOW go back and say that a 3044 presumption IS triggered. But make sure to take the steps outlined above with enough time in advance of the court date, and hopefully it'll work out.
Will a Cease and Desist letter to wife hold up in court?: My wife (divorce 90% complete) and I have been separated almost 3 yrs. She lives with her boyfriend 60 miles away. After I filed an RFO and came to a preliminary agreement thru the court, I agreed she could pick my kids up inside my residence. Unfortunately, this has back fired on me as after she drops them off at school, she comes back into my residence and stays here. Showers, sleeps, gets ready for work, eats, uses my internet, etc. & now it's interfering with my daily life as she is invading my space. I have asked many many times to cease from entering my place, but she hasn't. I have instructed my son (14) not to let her in, but this also hasn't worked. What can I do to keep her out? She's invading my privacy without my consent. Will a cease and desist letter do much for me?
A cease and desist letter by itself, in my opinion, may not be sufficient. However, it would be a means to an end. From the information presented herein, it is unclear whether the permission to enter that you gave her was in the "agreement" (i.e. in writing) or whether it was verbal and AFTER the agreement was entered into. However, what you need to do now is 1) notify her that you are revoking your permission for her to enter the home to pick up the children, and (IF she does not comply) 2) file a request with the court and attach the cease and desist letter as an exhibit to prove to court that you've revoked your permission and that the court modify the orders as such (if your permission was made part of an order previously), or that the court orders her to not enter the house.
I'm not sure if the house was a community property; because if it is, then she has a right to enter the home. If you have already obtained exclusive use and possession of the home, then all you need to do is ask the court for it's orders to prevent her from entering the home. On the other hand, if you do not have exclusive use and possession of the home, you should lead with requesting that first. If you have been given exclusive use and possession of the home, and provided that she has taken all her personal belongings with her, you might want to consider changing the locks.