We had a commitment ceremony with no license just more like a party that looked like a wedding. Friends are telling me that we are legally married and if I buy property she is intitled to half at separation is this true ?
Generally speaking, no. The primary exception to this would be if you had a cohabitation agreement, which stems from a well known case known as Marvin v. Marvin. Said case allowed for, among other things, division of property based upon a contractual theory (as opposed to the Family Code).
From what you have said here it does not appear that any such agreement existed.See question
I got married in 2002 I've been in Australia for the past 6 yrs I got legally seperated around 8 years ago in California and I cant get a hold of her and I need to move on with my life and be divorced.
Your question has a few nuances to it. First, a legal separation is not the same thing as a divorce; and, as such, given the facts you have presented you are not divorced. Second, if what you are asking here is what to do in order obtain a divorce, you will need to file for a dissolution of marriage (in California, this is done using forms FL-100 and FL-110). One of the fundamental issues that will arise early in your case is the location in which you file: in California, to file for divorce, at least one of the parties must have been a resident of the State of California for at least six months and of the county in which the filing is taking place for at least three months. Do you know if your spouse still resides in California, and if so, which county?See question