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Tamara Katherine Vincelette
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Tamara Vincelette’s Answers

4 total

  • What if I don't qualify as indigent, but can't afford the CFI retainer?

    I took the advice of my lawyer and allowed arbitration as a future conflict resolution for my ex and I parenting plan. I ran out of money and so my lawyer dropped me. Now I have to go to arbitration without a lawyer, and so far the arbitrator has ...

    Tamara’s Answer

    It sounds like you have a post-divorce dispute about what is in the best interests of a child or children you are co-parenting with your ex-wife.. An arbitrator is now charged with resolving your dispute per your Separation Agreement and or Parenting Plan. That person has no information for making a decision about what is in fact in the best interests of your child(ren), except from two people who see it very differently. I don't know that other "proof" is required to show that a Child Family Investigation is needed.
    You could ask again that the arbitrator order your ex-wife to front the costs of the CFI if she requested it, with the arbitrator re-allocating the cost as s/he sees fit as part of the final arbitration award. I realize that may just push off the day the payment still needs to be made. You could ask the person who will be performing the CFI if they can accept payments, and will start the CFI before you complete payment. You can also ask if the CF Investigator has a sliding fee scale. There is a statutory cap on what a CFI can cost: $2,000, so I am not sure why you think that the CFI chosen is "very expensive." CFIs typically cost $2000. If you cannot get help as suggested, you could tell your ex-wife what you can pay and let her know that if she wants the work started, she needs to make up the difference, you can let the arbitrator know you made that agreement, and that the arbitrator needs to decide whether you need to reimburse your ex-wife as part of his/her arbitration award. Good luck.

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  • How do I respond to the Request on the JDF 1420? What are the chances that the court will give him 50/50?

    My boyfriend & I lived together for over a year, we have a 7 month old daughter together. He asked us to leave & a week later served me w/ a Summons to Respond to Petition for Allocation of Parental Responsibilities along w/ a Motion for Temporar...

    Tamara’s Answer

    It is helpful to have orders from a court that detail how you are going to co-parent your child, including what input each of you is going to be entitled to provide into major decisions for her, when each of you can count on having parenting time with her, what financial support each of you will contribute for her, to name a few of the points that should be included in a comprehensive parenting plan. If you can reach agreements with your ex-boyfriend on these things that is great, if you cannot, the court will enter orders based on its best guess of what is in your child's best interests.
    Your question does not indicate whether one or the other of you was more involved in the daily tasks of parenting your little girl than the other thus far. You may want to review latest research on children's early brain and emotional development, and the potential effects of interrupting that process by putting a very young child on a "50/50" parenting time schedule. If she has a parent with whom she is primarily bonded, being away from that parent for 5 consecutive days may be distressing for her - but she won't be able to tell you that.
    Both you and your ex-boyfriend should know that parenting time schedules can be changed over time, to track with a child's development. What works best for a 7 month old will change by the time she is 2. Your child's ability to tolerate being away from the parent to whom she is primarily bonded will expand as she gets older, so that she can spend more time with the other parent without negatively impacting her own emotional health and growth. Might you and your former boyfriend be willing to make an appointment jointly with a person who is a licensed mental health professional, with specialized parenting expertise? I am suggesting a person who can provide education to both of you, and explain lots of alternatives for each of you to get significant parenting time now, but in a way that creates the greatest likelihood of success for your child's long-term emotional wellbeing based on the best research currently available, as well as taking into account such things as the difficulty of a very young child being able to waken your ex after he takes his medicine. The parenting specialist can suggest milestone ages at which it will be prudent to revisit your parenting plan and consider modifications based on your daughter's development. Those modified Parenting Plans can be filed with the court.

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  • What wording do i use in my response to disputed parenting time and motion to restrict parenting time.

    Mother got up and moved out of the state of Colorado and left the child. Visits changed from every other week to every other month for 1 month. I believe my child may be getting abused by mother. I filed (motion for parental responsibilities).Moth...

    Tamara’s Answer

    If mediation is scheduled, and if Mother attends it, you can negotiate for reunification/therapy as a term of any parenting plan to which you are willing to agree. If you are unable to reach common ground through mediation, and must, therefore, proceed to a permanent orders hearing in your APR action, cite to the Court Mother's failures to comply with the parenting time she was granted at Temporary Orders; the long period of time she has gone without seeing a very young child, the behaviors you have observed in your daughter that you attribute to her contacts with her mother, and Mother's failure to provide ordered drug results. If you plan to represent yourself, you may be able to get statements your daughter has made to you into the Court record, but know that if the Court is following strict rules of evidence, you will need to offer the exception to the hearsay rule under which those statements fall. I think it likely that a judge will find Mother's very inconsistent involvement with her daughter not to be in your daughter's best interests, but have a specific proposal and tell the Court what parenting time you think is in your daughter's best interests (supervised in person? by telephone? Skype?) and why.

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  • What can be done to explain to the custodial GM that just because she has custody does not mean she has right to claim them

    My husband pays CS and has an order to be able to file taxes for the children. Custody changed from Mother to Grandmother but nothing was discussed with taxes and who could claim. My husband claimed them this year as it was his year and now the cu...

    Tamara’s Answer

    Without seeing the original Order that granted your husband the right to claim the dependency exemptions and the Order that provided for the change of parenting time from his ex-wife to her mother, it's impossible to answer this question. If your husband filed for the dependency exemptions this year, and he has Court Orders showing his right to do so, it sounds like he is on solid ground. If the Court Orders do not make this issue clear, however, there is potentially both an issue for the divorce (now post-divorce) case and with the IRS. If two returns are filed claiming the exemptions for the same children, it may be time and energy consuming to resolve. Is it possible for your husband to have a discussion with the his ex-mother-in-law? Is she providing financial support for the children? If so, can your husband reach an agreement with her on what years it is fair for him to claim the children and what years it is fair for her to do so? They can file a Stipulation with the Court, telling it what is agreed to, and if they follow their agreement, avoid IRA involvement going forward. If the Orders are not clear on this point, if may behoove your husband to go back to court to get orders that are crystal clear on this point, especially if there are going to be many more years of supporting these children.

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