The short answer to your question is that you should consult a local real estate attorney, especially considering there are multiple parties with a stake in this outcome, including the government.
As a general matter, you are almost always better off giving notice to any interested party when there is any potential issue involving real estate, and from a legal standpoint, you will usually be safer if you ask for permission from any interested party before building any structure that could prevent access, such as a gate. A local attorney can assist you in navigating any municipal ordinances and drafting the necessary documents.
Additionally, because the road is private, the people using your road for "mudding" may be considered trespassers. A local attorney can discuss the appropriate legal strategies for deterring any potential trespassers. I might even suggest speaking with your local police department.
I hope this answer has assisted you,
The answer depends on different factors: Are you the sole owner of this account? You say "security systems", so I assume these are security systems that protect your home. Are you still living in the home that is tied to this security system? Is your ex-boyfriend still living in the home tied to this security system? Are you concerned about your safety? Has your ex-boyfriend been harassing you?
From a legal standpoint, depending on certain facts, your ex-boyfriend may have violated a criminal statute. You should contact your local DA's office and explain the situation to them. They may be able to assist you in removing yourself from the account. If your ex-boyfriend is harassing you, there are civil methods of dealing with that, as well.
If you simply want to remove or close the account, then you need to ask the company for alternative methods of proving your identity. If they do not provide you with an alternative method of proving your identity, then you should warn them that you will file a complaint with the Office of the Maine Attorney General unless they provide you with an alternative method of identification. If they still do not respond, then you should file a complaint with the Consumer Protection Division of the Office of the Maine Attorney General.
Here is a link to the relevant division: http://www.maine.gov/ag/consumer/complaints/