If you are entitled to a share of the estate you may seek to enforce your right to receive it. If a probate/administration case is already opened with the court, you would not need to "sue" in a separate action and you may have an attorney file a petition in the existing probate/administration case. If there is no court probate/administration in place, then you may need to file a separate legal action to enforce your rights. Your local law or court rules may provide other alternatives for you that will avoid litigation. You should check with an attorney in your area who is practices in the areas of probate.
The key here is the beneficiary designation. If you are designated beneficiary, that beneficiary designation will control and you should receive the benefit, if any, that is payable from the State. If there is also a trust, that should have no impact on the beneficiary designation - unless the trust is named as beneficiary (instead of you personally). The documents coming from the State should tell the story for you. Take them to an attorney who handles trusts and estates in your area if the documents are not clear or there is a trust named as beneficiary.
I see you are from California. I am not licensed to practice in California and my answer here is not to be construed as legal advice. I wish to point out that California had a recent appeals court case addressing the issue and deciding that a trustee of a revocable trust where the person involved was trustee, current beneficiary, and grantor, could appear in court on behalf of himself and the trust. The case is Aulisio v. Bancroft (Cal. App. Fourth Dist., Div. 3; October 30, 2014) 230 Cal.App.4th 1516, [179 Cal.Rptr.3d 408].). On the issue as to whether you could represent your wife, who is also a trustee, the facts of the above case do not address this. Safest bet would be for both you and your wife to appear if you are unable to locate counsel to represent you.
If I understand your question, the general answer is "yes" you can transfer a timeshare via an interval warranty deed that is set up as a quitclaim deed, then later record it later and pay the recording fee at that time. There are some potential pitfalls, however. The timeshare you have may require you to provide notice to the timeshare company when you make a transfer, or to pay a transfer fee. Further, the quitclaim deed (without notice and consent, if required) may not be sufficient to relieve you from contractual obligations relating to the payment of maintenance fees, etc. The better approach will be to work through the timeshare company and ascertain the transfer requirements, then work with a title company or directly with an attorney to prepare a deed that passes on all warranties of title and also meets the consent requirements of the timeshare company. Finally, if you already have a buyer or someone you want to gift the timeshare to, you do not necessarily have to go through the escrow process. You could hire an attorney to assist with the preparation of the transfer documents and then work directly with your buyer or transferee with regard to any exchange of funds. If this is a sale, you will be obligated to do some of the things escrow would otherwise handle for you, such as reporting the sale to the IRS (i.e., 1099) and any state tax reporting requirements.
If an executor has misappropriated funds from the estate, that would provide cause for the executor to be removed. If an executor has accessed funds in an account ordered frozen by a court, this will provide cause for the executor to be removed. The co-executor or a beneficiary could petition the court for removal of the executor and for an accounting at the same time, along with sanctions against the executor. In extreme cases, criminal charges could apply. That said, simply asking the court to require an accounting could be a first step to determine if there were some wrongdoing in cases where it is not clear.
One issue to consider is whether the attorney was paid for his/her services. If he is owed funds for the work done, this would put him in a position as a potential creditor of the estate. However, that alone would not create a conflict, assuming your sister's estate is solvent. I have been in this position a few times and my personal practice is to write-off the balance if the family hires me to handle the probate.
If the amount you loaned is under $5,000 you may want to look into using the small claims court proceedings to provide proof of the loan and to seek a judgment against the borrower for nonpayment. In this case, you are in better shape if you have some documentation, such as a cashed check or bank statement showing the money changed hands. Here is a link to the small claims brochure for Hawaii courts. http://goo.gl/6haaD5
To add to Paula Sinclair's fine answer, if the assets you describe do not amount to more than $100,000, you may be able to use the Affidavit of Collection for small estates in Hawaii. This will allow you to close out accounts, transfer vehicles, transfer the securities, all without court proceedings. An experienced probate attorney will assist you in preparing the affidavit and collecting the assets at a modest cost.
Assuming you are the only person on title and have requisite capacity, you may transfer your property to whomever you choose, including a child, without consent or knowledge of any others. The real question is whether you want to do so. There are myriad potential pitfalls to transferring property to children. A child may have legal, tax, or financial issues in the future that expose your home to creditor claims or tax liabilities. If your child sells the property after your death, the child may incur taxes on capital gain that could have been avoided if the child had received the property by inheritance. On the flip side, if your child is caring for you, and you are concerned about the potential of needing nursing home care in the future (which may drain your funds), then perhaps some proper "medicaid planning" will argue for transferring the home. I do suggest you meet personally with an attorney who does estate planning to discuss the pros and cons before proceeding.
Separation will not have an effect on ownership of the property. You would still remain an owner. Divorce, however, will result in a court ordering division or sale of the property in some fashion. If your property is held Tenants by the Entirety between you and your husband, you will not be able to force the sale of the property. However, if you own it as joint tenants, either of you may petition the Court to force a sale.