Unfortunately, the answer is not short. A lengthy conference with an attorney is necessary to discuss all the ins and outs of custody and support. As it appears you are in Hamilton County, I would suggest you make an appointment with an attorney who practices Juvenile family law in that county.
Usually, when one parent gets temporary custody of a child, the court will address the other parent's parenting time (visitation) in the same custody order. If your daughter's father did not tell the Court the complete truth and has kept you from being with her, especially during the Holidays, the Court should reverse its order and be quite harsh with the father.
Seek immediate legal representation in order to property address these issues. Your daughter's well being is at stake.
If your parents have a survivorship deed, there is no benefit for your dad doing this now. Truly, it would only be a reminder to him that the end is near.
If your brother was convicted of rape, there are probably some restrictions placed on him about being around children, perhaps even his own. Your brother should contact an attorney regarding this issue. The attorney may want to file a motion for visitation, if his criminal sentence allows him to be able to be around his own children. If a court orders the visits, your mother will not risk losing the kids.
A parent's wish is but one piece of evidence the court must consider. The Judge will also want to know why she feels this way. If she has reasons that are compelling, such as your being a child abuser or a drug addict, and those allegations are true, the Judge should not allow you to continue to be the custodian.
Without knowing more about the facts of your case, it is difficult to answer your question. It would be worth your while to make an appointment with a local attorney to discuss these issues in greater detail.
There is no rule that it is a father's responsibility to visit his child in his home state, unless your Domestic Relations Judge has specifically issued that order in your case.
A child should be able to have a continuing relationship with BOTH parents, even if one parent lives abroad, regardless of where he or she is in the military. How that relationship is fostered is different in every case. The best interest of this child is what is important. Your short synopsis of the facts does not give an attorney enough information. What is the child's age? Maturity? Physical health? Mental health? Relationship with the father? Relationship with the paternal grandfather? Who is paying for these trips? Where will the child be staying when abroad?
Please contact an attorney in order to discuss these issues in greater detail.
A court can grant custody of you to others. Depending on whether your mother fights it, the process can be quick or it can be quite lengthy. Also, it is very possible it can be quite expensive. Have your grandmother make an appointment to discuss the facts of your case with an attorney. Depending on the severity of the facts, the attorney may be forced to call the police or Child Protective Services in order to have you "removed" from your mother's home as an emergency.
There is a lot of missing information which would help an attorney to be able to accurately answer your question. Please make an appointment with an attorney so a productive discussion of the facts can take place in order to taylor the answer to your questions to the facts in your case.
If no court has awarded sole custody to a parent, either parent can retrieve his or her child from a non-parent as a parent has a greater right to the child than a non-parent. This often results in a horrible tug-of-war with the children in the middle.
I encourage the parents to each seek legal advice to get a court involved and have some "ground rules" regarding what each parent is permitted to do so the children suffer the least.
You may visit the Butler County Recorder's Office located in the Administration Building, 130 High Street, 2nd Floor, in Hamilton, Ohio and obtain a copy of the current deed to the property. The deed will tell you exactly how the property is titled.