While it’s true that kids fight, if your son hurts your daughter then yes, he could be arrested for assault or harassment. The seriousness of the charge depends on the seriousness of the injury. Also, CPS could become involved if you don’t intervene to protect her.
If you blew a .07, you are likely charged with DWAI, a non-criminal violation. These are sometimes reduced to non-alcohol related violations in my part of the state, but I'm not sure how it will be handled in the Bronx. Given that you are just coming off your last DWI, I wouldn't be surprised if they charged you with felony common law DWI, even though you blew below a .08. You really need a lawyer to finesse you out of this one. Good luck.
It sounds like you have tried just about everything. In New York State, if a government agency is not doing something that it is supposed to be doing, you can bring an "Article 78 Proceeding" against the agency. In your case, it sounds like the DMV has suspended your license even though a representative of the Army (JAG) has informed the DMV that there was no conviction. Using an Article 78 Proceeding, you may be able to use the courts to order the DMV to lift your license suspension. Good luck.
If your son's attorney demands a trial date, then the prosecution must be ready for trial within 90 days of the commencement of the action. You do have an opportunity to challenge whether your son was legally stopped. It's called a probable cause hearing.
If the summons appears on your NYS Information Sheet (and it should), then your Vermont case manager will be able to see it if she runs a multi-state records check to update your file status. I would talk to an attorney who spends a lot of time in the court where you have to appear in the Bronx. That attorney is probably in the best position to help you get out of the jam you are currently in.
Instead of thinking about this like an employment law issue, I would suggest thinking about it as a criminal issue. It sounds like your co-worker may have commited the crime of 'menacing' against you. I would report it to the police and ask that he be arrested. Your employer is foolish for not taking action, because if this coworker does hurt somebody in the future, they may find themselves liable for his conduct.
Hair follicle tests can detect metabolized alcohol remnants up to 90 days from the day a person consumed alcohol. So can it show up? Yes. Will it show up? That depends on whether the test for those metabolite is run.
In New York State, you cannot be discriminated against in hiring (or firing) based on your criminal record - unless the conviction directly relates to the job you hold. As an example, a bank teller could be fired if convicted of larceny, but not because he was convicted of Endangering the Welfare of a Child. If you are facing discrimination in the form of a longer probationary period, and if your employer has at least four employees, they seem to be breaking the law.
In your particular case, reciprocity also refers to the Interstate Drivers Compact, to which both NY and PA belong. The motor vehicle departments in both states share driver data, and if you are convicted of DWI in NY, you can be sanctioned by the PA DMV through licensing restrictions, suspensions, or revocations. PA could also fine you. A PA lawyer will be able to advise you on potential sanctions.
Although my colleagues are correct in that the bad conduct of your roommate should not get you into trouble, in my experience with probation, sometimes people get into trouble for things they should not be in trouble for.
For example, normally there is a condition of probation that you not be allowed to associate with other people on probation. You were obviously given an exception to this condition, but now your probation officer probably thinks you and your roommate are close. What happens if your probation officer finds out that you knew about a crime being committed in your home by a person close to you and you did not tell him? Is that a violation of probation? I bet your PO thinks it is. Sounds a lot like you are in on it, even though you aren't.
I would contact the lawyer who represented you on your DWI ASAP and get actual advice on what to do. All we can give you here is information, and you need a lawyer. Right now. You don't want your PO finding out about this from somebody else unless your lawyer advises you to keep quiet.