Unfortunately, spousal abuse is not a simple issue. It involves more that just legal aspects. I volunteered for some short period of time in the Los Angeles Domestic Violence Project. What I saw there, most of the time, is that the victim only realizes that the perpetrator is not going to stop after being hit or sent to the hospital more than twice. Economic issues are just a few of them. Who is going to pay the mortgage, rent or put food on the table while the perpetrator is in jail, if the victim does not work or does not make enough money. A reasonable answer would be who is going to pay for your hospital bill or even your funeral if this almost always escalating situation continues, if kids are involved, who is going to take care of then while victim is in the hospital. Going back the original question, it is up to the DA to drop the charges even If you decide to drop the charges and decide not to cooperate with the DA. Having said that, If you ultimately decide that enough is enough and separate, at least get an Attorney who can guide you through a divorce that may at least get you back on your feet again. Take care.