An overview of why it is not uncommon for victims of child abuse to wait years to get help in dealing with their problem.
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Many Victims of Abuse Cannot Confront Their Past Until Adulthood
Many victims of child sexual abuse cannot confront their debilitating problems until they are mature adults. In order to make the connection between the sexual abuse and their psychological and emotional problems victims often need real distance from the time period of their abuse.
What many people fail to realize is that child abuse is the perfect crime because its victims are too powerless, too confused to help themselves when they are actually being abused. These children and teens travel quietly through their days, interacting with friends and neighbors, teachers and police officers, rarely revealing the anguish of their existences. And if by chance someone asks them how they are being treated at home, their responses will be usually be very similar: a muted ‘okay.’
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What Sexual Abuse Does to A Child's Coping Mechanisms
As adults we expect all human beings to escape or at least want to escape when someone injures them, but for victims of childhood sexual abuse, the reverse often tragically occurs. And that is in fact perhaps one of the most insidious aspects of child abuse: it often binds the child closer to the abuser. The abuser’s threats and intimidation engender in the child not only fear but self-blame and embarrassment - all of which turns a child's survival mechanisms topsy-turvy. Emotional attachment and sexual violence become so inextricably confused that even when the abuse is reported, the child will sometimes resist being removed from their draconian environment by a social worker.
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People Prefer to Keep Child Abuse a Private Matter
The other aspect which makes child abuse a perfect crime is that most adults continue to believe that child rearing is a private matter. While we all cherish our right Daily, people turn a blind eye to the screams, bruises and frightened eyes of battered and molested children. Their reaction actively reinforces the offender’s omnipotence and tells the child you're on your own, no one is going to help you. By powerful social training we are more likely to intervene on behalf of a dog being kicked by its owner than a child being mistreated by a parent. As Americans we routinely gawk at the suffering of car accident victims but we avert our eyes and ears when we see a child being backhanded in a supermarket.
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A Critical Step in Dealing With Being a Victim Childhood Sexual Abuse is to Get Help
For these above reasons and others, it is often only when a child becomes a mature adult that he or she has the strength and emotional resources to confront the scourge of their past. The process is not easy, but seeking professional mental health help is an important first step to one’s recovery.
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