Don't keep it a secret. You will have to give up some of your privacy.

1. Notify the police that you have an FRO. Once your local police know that you have an FRO. If you are really afraid., ask them to drive by your house more often. 2. Notify the doorman and the neighbors that your husband, significant other no longer lives there. 3. Notify teachers at the school and daycare that you have an FRO and that they are not to release your children to anyone but you. 4. Post your FRO where co-workers can see it. Ask your co-workers to tell you if they see your husband or significant other at or near the workplace. 5. While it may be embarrassing, tell your employer and ask that he alert safety peronnel to not allow entry of the defendant to the workplace.


Make your environment as safe as possible

1. Install an alarm on your home so that you can sleep soundly at night. 2. Change your locks. If you don't change your locks, you could arrice home one day and find the abuser sitting on your sofa waiting for you with a gun. 3. Put bars on the windows or use dowels so that the windows can not be opened from the outside. Keep the windows locked. Use air conditioning or fans. Keep the windows locked. 4. Change your telephone numbers. Instruct your children not to give the number to others including the abuser, their dad. 5. If you move to another location, provide the post office with a copy of the FRO demanding that they only give your address to law enforcement for legitimate law enforcement purposes. Send the postmaster of the local post office certified mail containing your demand.


Take these steps as well.

1. Change your routine. If possible, take another route to work. If possible, change your shift. 2. If possible, find another childcare provider for your children. 3. Buy a whistle that you keep handy. If you keep it at the bottom of your purse, it will not be "handy" when you need it most. If you see the abuser, make noise and be seen by others. 4. Get counseling for yourself and your children. The girls need to feel good about themselves and understand their worth. Girls need to know that being hit is unacceptable. Boys need to feel good about themselves and understand that men don't hit women. Sometimes you need professional help to make these values real.