Here are five simple, yet essential, court etiquette guidelines when attending your family law hearing.
1
ARRIVE EARLY
Your attorney may need to speak with you regarding new developments that have arisen since you last spoke. Arrive at least 15 minutes before the scheduled time of the hearing. Allow yourself extra time for possible heavy traffic, unfamiliar parking, and the line to go through the metal detector. At the very least, arriving late may irritate the judge, delay your hearing, and increase your attorneys fees while people wait for you to arrive. At worst, your hearing may have to be rescheduled or may even be dismissed (lost).
2
DRESS APPROPRIATELY
Wear a clean, ironed, and modest outfit. Do not wear the most expensive-looking suit in your closet. It sends a message to the judge that you are made of money and in little need of the court's assistance. For women, skirts or slacks are fine. Avoid any dress that looks like it would be great "at a party." Pumps are always better than high heels--you may be on you feet for awhile plus pumps look more modest. Avoid mini skirts, excessive jewelry, cleavage, and heavy lipstick or mascara if you choose to wear make-up. Men should consider wearing slacks/docker-type pants and a pressed shirt. Resist the urge to wear your dress suit. A tie is okay but not essential. Leave the Rolex at home. Don't appear in court looking like you forgot to shave. Either sex should avoid jeans, T-shirts with slogans, "big" hairdos, sweats, thong-type shoes, body art or piercings, gum, shorts, hats, anything with holes, or designed to make people want to focus on your clothing rather than the issues.
3
DON'T TALK WITH THE OTHER PARTY
If the other party (the person on the other side) comes to the hearing as well, do not speak or argue with them. This is not the place to confront them about their position or try to persuade them about the issues. The purpose of the day is to hear the judge's opinion and have him or her decide the dispute(s). Sharing even seemingly "harmless" information may have a negative effect on the hearing outcome in an unpredictable way. The other attorney will know to speak only to your attorney and is not permitted to speak with you if you are represented. Emotions often run high at stressful times as this where the Court is being asked to make an important decision about your case. Getting into an argument or an inadvertent confrontation at the courthouse will only complicate matters. If there is information you believe is essential to share with the other side, discuss it with your attorney first.
4
AVOID "BODY LANGUAGE" DURING THE PRESENTATION
Each side will have an opportunity to address the Court about the case issues. Almost always, the judge has already reviewed written submissions and evidence from each side, and so the oral presentation is often designed to summarize or emphasize major points. Do not use body language to try and communicate to the judge your disagreement or incredulity at the other side's statements. Look at the judge, not the attorneys or other party. Do not make loud sighs, turn to stare dramatically at the speaker, or shout "That's not true!" during their presentation. Such gestures do not convey to the judge that the other side is lying--only that you may have a problem with self control. Your attorney will object if there is a legal reason for doing so. Normally, however, each side is allowed to present "their theory of the case" without interruption.
5
DON'T LEAVE THE COURTROOM OR COURTHOUSE WITHOUT CONFERRING WITH COUNSEL
Check with your attorney before leaving to use the restroom, to take a smoking break or make a phone call. Your case may be on the verge of being called up or your attorney may need to have you immediately at hand to make decisions or provide information. Even after the hearing is over, do not leave the courthouse without ensuring your attendance is no longer required. Whenever possible, have your attorney explain the outcome of the hearing to you (if not evident), provide you a copy of any orders, answer your questions, and confirm any next steps regarding follow-up, compliance, or challenge of the ruling. Ask your attorney to explain things about which you are confused or require more information.
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