When you're facing a Virginia divorce, you have a lot to think about regarding the legal and emotional challenges involved. Your Virginia Beach divorce attorney will guide you in the legal aspects of your case, but the way you handle your emotions and your relationship with your ex can make a difference in how the divorce plays out for you.
Everyone has heard about a divorced couple that gets along well; they don't speak badly about each other, they can have a conversation without fighting, and they don't seem jealous or upset about each other’s new relationships. Do these couples really exist? Of course, but it's likely that most of them got to that place over time and with some effort. It's possible that they made the decision early on not to let bitterness guide their divorce or their lives.
Even if you don't want to be friends with your ex after divorce, it can still benefit you to have a “friendly divorce", and in many cases, it's possible to make it happen. A friendly divorce is one in which the partners both want to end the marriage with as little misery and drama as possible. They're not out to stab their ex in the back; they just want to move on.
There are many benefits to this type of Virginia divorce.
· Expense. It can be less expensive. Fighting things out in court can increase your divorce costs significantly. If you're willing and able to work things out between yourselves in a level-headed way, you can often save on court costs.
· Time.It's usually quicker. A divorce can take some time as it is, just because it's a legal process that requires waiting periods and paperwork. Fighting each other at every turn will likely cause the experience to drag on much longer.
· Family morale.It's good for the children. Kids pick up on our tension and stress. They're under enough strain themselves, experiencing such a traumatic change in their living and loving conditions. Having their parents fighting it out in court or at home will only increase their anxiety and possibly make them sick, either emotionally or physically.
· Your psyche.It can be better for the healing process. Yes, revenge via a long court fight may seem like your only recourse that will truly let him know the extent of the hurt but in the long run it usually ends up making you, everybody involved, really, feel worse.
Having a friendly divorce can be difficult because there's usually some major issues involved with a couple's split. But even if you have a lot of pain and anger to deal with, lengthening the legal process won't help. It's usually wise to be the bigger person and attempt to be civil, even if your ex is reluctant.
That's not to say that you should roll over and allow him to treat you unfairly; you need good legal representation so that you can be aware of your rights and make informed decisions.
Many couples are now choosing litigation alternatives like mediation and collaborative divorce when ending their marriages. There are some Virginia Beach divorce attorneys who are also mediators or who offer collaborative law as an option in divorce. These options allow the couple to hash out their differences, negotiate workable solutions, and make it all legal in a divorce agreement.
Contacting a Virginia Beach Divorce Attorney
At this vulnerable time, it’s critical that you have exceptional legal representation that not only understands the specifics of your case but is dedicated to your best interests and that of your family.
The Virginia divorce attorneys at Hofheimer/Ferrebee represent Virginia women who wish to file for divorce. We are committed to fighting for your rights, assisting in child custody disputes, and advocating that you receive everything you are entitled to and need in order to start your new life. You can learn more by requesting one of our FREE divorce guides for women, or reserving your seat at our monthly divorce seminar – 757-425-5200.