Obtaining competent and reliable information, legal and financial advice is important because it can move you in the direction of an easier, faster and better overall divorce experience. You must be informed and educated, develop a divorce plan or strategy, and become the manager of your own divorce
1
PREPARTION
1. Put your papers in order
Put your divorce papers in order. Keep copies of important financial documents in a secure place. Critical financial papers, include tax returns, insurance policies and bank statements, investment accounts, salaries and benefit programs.
2. Keep an expense journal
Keep a journal of all expenses with receipts, especially your children's expenses
3. Establish credit
Try to establish personal credit relationships (gasoline credit cards, department stores and national credit car companies such as Visa, MasterCard, etc.)
4. Open a bank account in your name
Open a new bank account in your name at a bank where your spouse does not do business. Start putting away as much money as possible, on a regular basis. Later on, when you separate, you will need to have available funds to retain a divorce attorney and to pay for your day to day living expenses in case your spouse refuses to pay for your support.
2
EMOTIONAL BALANCE
Emotional endurance and balance are necessary and powerful ingredients in the divorce
process.
1. Get support systems in place
Make sure you get strong emotional support and encouragement from trusted friends, family, spiritual advisors or psychologists to help you through the difficult, complex feelings that are associated with the divorce process.
2. Postpone big decisions
Postpone life altering decisions until you are able to think clearly about relocating or changing jobs or acquiring significant property.
3. Don't move out of your marital residence
Do not move out of the family residence without first discussing it with your divorce lawyer.
4. Talk to your children
Reassure your children that they are not the cause of your separation or divorce and explain this in a way that is consistent with your children's ages and maturity level. It is best to be truthful and honest and give children simple and clear answers without blaming anyone.
3
CONSULT AN ATTORNEY
Knowledge is power. Schedule consultations with a few different attorneys who are experienced in all aspects New York divorce and family law to explore strategies for your divorce case. Present your case to several divorce lawyers to get a variety of opinions and attitudes before you choose the one you want.
1. Bring documents
It is helpful to bring financial documents and records for the divorce attorney to review during the initial consultation. Include as many of the following documents as possible:
recent pay stubs tax returns for the past three to five years bank statements and credit card statements for the past three to five years pension and any other retirement and employment benefits both you and your spouse are entitled to receive, including year end bonuses, health insurance and life insurance copies of deeds to real property and statements of any mortgages or equity loans that are due 2. Don't sign any papers
Do not sign any documents, contracts,
4
OPEN COMMUNICATION AND REVIEW YOUR MOTIVIATIONS
Most divorce cases are settled by the spouses between themselves, not necessarily by their divorce lawyers, so you will both benefit, in the long run, by keeping communication lines open. The way in which you and your spouse behave and communicate with each other during the most stressful moments in your marriage, will serve as a mirror image of how you will behave through the divorce process. If your top priority is your children, your decisions must be consistent with their best interests, not just yours. If you realize that some of the problems you are fighting about will not matter in the future, then the same issues probably do not matter in the present moment. Therefore, let go of these issues and focus on the important ones! It is a good idea to frequently reassess your actions while going through the process of a divorce in New York and make sure you continue to focus and move towards your ultimate goals. Choose your battles wisely! It's time to reclaim your life.
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