10 Things to Do if Divorce is Imminent

If a divorce is imminent or even a reasonable possibility, here are 10 simple things you can do to prepare.

Put Your Kids At the Top of Your Agenda

As you realize that a divorce is imminent, you will undoubtedly spend lots of time researching, collecting documents, interviewing attorneys, etc. Even though these activities take up much of your time, you must remember to put your children first. Of all of the parties to a divorce, children are the ones who often suffer the most. During the divorce process, keep your children’s routines as normal as possible. If you and your spouse are arguing in front of the children – stop. If you and your spouse cannot be together with the children without arguing, create a schedule of separate times for each of you to be with the children. Stay involved (or become involved) in your children’s school, sports and social activities. Do not badmouth your spouse to your children. Do not use the children as your source of psychological support. Children need and deserve the love and attention of both of their parents before, during and after divorce. Put your children first in your life.

Consult an Attorney

Becoming informed about your legal rights and responsibilities is the most crucial step in the divorce process. An experienced divorce attorney will be able to counsel you on the law as it applies to the facts of your situation and advise you on the best way to proceed (or not proceed.) One example is illustrative. You and your spouse are constantly fighting and the arguments are causing great distress to your children. Your spouse refuses to move out. You decide to take the children and live at your parents’ house until the divorce is final, at which time you will move back to the marital home. From a legal point of view, moving to your parents’ home, even temporarily, could be a huge mistake. This is just one of the many things a divorce attorney will discuss with you during a consultation.

Copy Documents

A little planning goes a long way in this area because it is much more difficult to obtain these documents through discovery procedures at a later date. Go through the household files and make copies of everything you can find: tax returns, bank statements, check registers, investment statements, retirement account statements, employee benefits handbooks, life insurance policies, mortgage documents, financial statements, credit card statements, wills, social security statements, automobile titles, Etc. If your spouse is self-employed, it is important to get as much information about the finances of the business as possible. If you are unaware of the family finances and haven’t yet discussed your plans for divorce, the best source of information may be your spouse. Suggest that you and your spouse do a financial statement so that you are both aware of the family finances. Don’t forget to check the home computer as a source of financial information.

Inventory Household and Family Possessions

You need not make an exhaustive list including every single kitchen utensil, but do list the major items: furniture, artwork, jewelry, appliances, automobiles, etc. Don’t forget to check the storage areas of your home and your safe deposit box for valuables.

Know the Household Budget and Expenses

If possible, go through your check register for the past year and write down the cost of each utility, mortgage and other household expense for each month. Keep track of the cash you spend on a daily basis so that you’ll be able to ascertain your monthly cash expenditures also. Knowledge of your household expenses is important at the beginning of the case, when temporary support is often an issue. It is also important during settlement of the case, when you will make a realistic appraisal of your ability to afford the home after divorce.