Skip to main content

Writing a letter to ex spouse requesting mediation

Greeley, CO |

My husband and his ex have been divorced for just over 7 years , we are trying to go through the courts to update the parenting plan and try to get more rights as the two younger children are with us at least 65% of the year , we don't really want to push child support . We are going to ask for custody of the girls Sunday evening till Friday after school , youngest is disabled so we want to keep her whole SIS check , more decision making for medical purposes , we want to claim girls for taxes each year since they are with us majority of the time . Also there is one of the boys that is older but still a minor he lives with us full time by choice and that will all remain the same . I am not sure how to ask her to attend mediation for all of this and if not then we will be in court .

Attorney Answers 3


  1. First of all, your husband needs to do the asking. He and his former wife are the ones with parental rights. He should put down, in writing, that there are some changes he would like to make to the parenting plan, that he would like to discuss them in mediation, and suggest a mediator.

    I suggest that he get some legal advice before sending anything to his former wife. Some of the things in your post just do not make sense to me. The youngest child's SIS check should not be parceled out between the two parents. The check goes to one parent, and the fact that the one parent receives that money if factored into the calculation of child support. Claiming the children for taxes, despite what the IRS tells you, is not based on who they live with most of the time. Under Colorado's child support statute, the divorce court is supposed to allocate the right to claim the children based on each parent's contribution of support to the children as reflected in the child support calculation worksheet. And why should the fact that the youngest child is disabled lead to your husband having "more" medical decision-making authority for that child?

    You are dealing with a number of complex issues and should at least get some legal advice, if not representation, before trying to address these matters.

    www.karlgeil.com. This answer is provided as general information about a legal issue, is not legal advice specific to a particular case, and does not create a lawyer-client relationship with the person asking the question.


  2. I agree with Mr. Geil. The legal issues that you have a very complex. Parenting time, decision making and child support are very involved issues both factually and legally. Your Husband should seek legal advice regarding these matters so that he is in the best position possible to determine the course of action he wants to take.

    www.divorce-matters.com. This answer is provided as general information about a legal issue, is not legal advice specific to a particular case, and does not create a lawyer-client relationship with the person asking the question


  3. When your husband speaks with an attorney, be sure that the attorney is someone who will discuss the potential reactions of his ex-wife to whatever he is seeking to do. I find that leaving things alone is often preferable to disturbing a hornet's nest. Someone may get stung and it is not only the parents, but the children who are in the middle. There has to be a strong reason to want to raise issues and potentially litigate for me to recommend this to a client.

Child custody topics

Top tips from attorneys

What others are asking

Can't find what you're looking for?

Post a free question on our public forum.

Ask a Question

- or -

Search for lawyers by reviews and ratings.

Find a Lawyer

Browse all legal topics