With an abusive, controlling ex, is it in my newborn's best interest to move away before birth?

Asked about 1 year ago - Saint Paul, MN

I am pregnant due in November. The father was abusive while we were together, I managed to finally move out a few months ago. He is threatening for full custody (unless I get back together with him) I want him to have supervised visitation. I have character witnesses, including my prenatal nurse, but I don't have any physical evidence (police were called once but no report was filed, no hospitalizations). He threatened to 'kill the child when it was born' several times, and I fear for the baby. He currently lives 30 miles away. My parents live 4 hours away and think I should move home to put distance between us, but I have an apartment and a job here. I would become unemployed and still have to pay rent. Do I have a case if I stay here or should I move to protect my child? would it help?

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Drake Daigoro Metzger

    Contributor Level 11


    Lawyers agree


    Answered . Unless you're married, your ex will need to bring a petition to establish custody of your child. This means that while he may be entitled to custodial rights to your child, he does not have rights until a court establishes them.

    From a legal standpoint, there may be a strategic advantage to living 4 hours away and making it harder for the father to have parenting time. This would be an argument to make if/when he moves to establish custody. It is up to you whether or not to move. At the very least, I recommend that you begin keeping a journal of any threatening behavior, texts, emails, and voicemails. These things will help you if/when he tries to obtain custody.

    Drake Metzger
    Metzger Law Firm, LLC

    Nothing in this response constitutes legal advice. Metzger Law Firm, LLC does not represent you nor has Metzger... more
  2. Sara Marie Grant Rojas

    Contributor Level 13


    Lawyers agree

    Answered . This is an extremely complex matter that cannot be adequately answered here. I suggest you schedule a FREE consultation with an attorney, and retain counsel as soon as possible. These are complicated strategic moves that need to be considered in detail.

    Sara Rojas

    I appreciate your endorsements! If you "agree," or found this response "helpful," please mark it as so. You can... more
  3. Lee Alan Thompson

    Contributor Level 20


    Lawyer agrees

    Answered . Nothing about him would change if you moved back in. Sounds like he's a control freak. I know the answer in Ohio but states vary. Speak with a local attorney BEFORE the child is born.

    Attorneys on Avvo donate their time and your feedback is appreciated. Be sure to mark the "Best Answer" or Helpful"... more

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