With an abusive, controlling ex, is it in my newborn's best interest to move away before birth?

Asked about 1 year ago - Saint Paul, MN

I am pregnant due in November. The father was abusive while we were together, I managed to finally move out a few months ago. He is threatening for full custody (unless I get back together with him) I want him to have supervised visitation. I have character witnesses, including my prenatal nurse, but I don't have any physical evidence (police were called once but no report was filed, no hospitalizations). He threatened to 'kill the child when it was born' several times, and I fear for the baby. He currently lives 30 miles away. My parents live 4 hours away and think I should move home to put distance between us, but I have an apartment and a job here. I would become unemployed and still have to pay rent. Do I have a case if I stay here or should I move to protect my child? would it help?

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Drake Daigoro Metzger

    Contributor Level 11

    3

    Lawyers agree

    1

    Answered . Unless you're married, your ex will need to bring a petition to establish custody of your child. This means that while he may be entitled to custodial rights to your child, he does not have rights until a court establishes them.

    From a legal standpoint, there may be a strategic advantage to living 4 hours away and making it harder for the father to have parenting time. This would be an argument to make if/when he moves to establish custody. It is up to you whether or not to move. At the very least, I recommend that you begin keeping a journal of any threatening behavior, texts, emails, and voicemails. These things will help you if/when he tries to obtain custody.

    Drake Metzger
    Metzger Law Firm, LLC
    952-525-2299

    Nothing in this response constitutes legal advice. Metzger Law Firm, LLC does not represent you nor has Metzger... more
  2. Sara Marie Grant Rojas

    Contributor Level 13

    3

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . This is an extremely complex matter that cannot be adequately answered here. I suggest you schedule a FREE consultation with an attorney, and retain counsel as soon as possible. These are complicated strategic moves that need to be considered in detail.

    Sara Rojas
    612.206.3722
    srojas@rojaslegal.com
    www.rojaslegal.com

    I appreciate your endorsements! If you "agree," or found this response "helpful," please mark it as so. You can... more
  3. Lee Alan Thompson

    Contributor Level 20

    1

    Lawyer agrees

    Answered . Nothing about him would change if you moved back in. Sounds like he's a control freak. I know the answer in Ohio but states vary. Speak with a local attorney BEFORE the child is born.

    Attorneys on Avvo donate their time and your feedback is appreciated. Be sure to mark the "Best Answer" or Helpful"... more

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