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With an abusive, controlling ex, is it in my newborn's best interest to move away before birth?

Saint Paul, MN |

I am pregnant due in November. The father was abusive while we were together, I managed to finally move out a few months ago. He is threatening for full custody (unless I get back together with him) I want him to have supervised visitation. I have character witnesses, including my prenatal nurse, but I don't have any physical evidence (police were called once but no report was filed, no hospitalizations). He threatened to 'kill the child when it was born' several times, and I fear for the baby. He currently lives 30 miles away. My parents live 4 hours away and think I should move home to put distance between us, but I have an apartment and a job here. I would become unemployed and still have to pay rent. Do I have a case if I stay here or should I move to protect my child? would it help?

Attorney Answers 3


  1. This is an extremely complex matter that cannot be adequately answered here. I suggest you schedule a FREE consultation with an attorney, and retain counsel as soon as possible. These are complicated strategic moves that need to be considered in detail.

    Sara Rojas
    612.206.3722
    srojas@rojaslegal.com
    www.rojaslegal.com

    I appreciate your endorsements! If you "agree," or found this response "helpful," please mark it as so. You can contact The Law Offices of Sara M. G. Rojas, PLLC or find out more information about us and the services we offer using any of the following: phone or fax- 612-206-3722; postal mail- 310 Fourth Avenue South, Suite 5010, Minneapolis, MN 55415; email- info@rojaslegal.com; web- www.rojaslegal.com. Disclaimer: Nothing in this response constitutes legal advice or creates an attorney-client relationship. You should always consult with a local attorney regarding your specific legal circumstances. Answers posted on Avvo are intended for general informational purposes only and should be used only as a starting point for addressing your legal issues. In particular, my answers and those of others are not a substitute for an in-person or telephone consultation about your specific legal issues, with an attorney licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. You should not rely solely upon this website, or other resources which may be linked to an answer in addressing your legal issues. Questions and answers, or other postings to the Avvo site, are not confidential and are not subject to attorney-client privilege. The full Avvo Terms of Use are set forth at http://www.avvo.com/support/terms . In addition, while similar legal principles often apply in many states, I am only licensed to practice in the State of Minnesota and the U.S. District of Minnesota. Any general information I provide about non-Minnesota laws should be verified with an attorney licensed to practice in your state.


  2. Nothing about him would change if you moved back in. Sounds like he's a control freak. I know the answer in Ohio but states vary. Speak with a local attorney BEFORE the child is born.

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  3. Unless you're married, your ex will need to bring a petition to establish custody of your child. This means that while he may be entitled to custodial rights to your child, he does not have rights until a court establishes them.

    From a legal standpoint, there may be a strategic advantage to living 4 hours away and making it harder for the father to have parenting time. This would be an argument to make if/when he moves to establish custody. It is up to you whether or not to move. At the very least, I recommend that you begin keeping a journal of any threatening behavior, texts, emails, and voicemails. These things will help you if/when he tries to obtain custody.

    Drake Metzger
    Metzger Law Firm, LLC
    952-525-2299

    Nothing in this response constitutes legal advice. Metzger Law Firm, LLC does not represent you nor has Metzger Law Firm, LLC entered into an attorney-client relationship with you.

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