where can we get married and it not be recognized in the US? want to colledct widows benefit @ 60 but that's 2 years off?

What you're talking about is perpetrating a fraud on the government. I highly suggest you reconsider.

Disclaimer: I am not offering legal advice, assume I do not know the law in your state and that I am just making suggestions for starting points for when you do speak with an attorney. Do NOT rely on anything I write and contact a lawyer in your area immediately after reading my posting.

Your are walking on a dangerous road that could be construed as fraud. I would not advise you to do that.

Don't get married. Any marriage, formally recognized by the US or not would probably disqualify you from the benefits if being single is a condition. Just stay together without getting married. You can draft a will, powers of attorney, etc., that will allow you to live as if married without having to actually do so.