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What to do with an 81 yr old man who won't bathe or allow others to help him?

Forest Hills, NY |

My father is an 81 yr old alcoholic who won't allow others, family, nurses, friends...to care for him. When not drinking he is sound and personable. However, he sits in his garage day and night drinking. As it stands he has bad legs (neuropathy) and falls frequently. My family and I live with him but he refuses to eat, bathe and sleep in the house some nights. I cannot (physically or mentally) stay up day and night trying to get him in the house. He has bed sores from sitting in his own urine, which doesn't seem to bother him. I have had numerous nurses come and go, they quit bc they get frustrated that he won't allow care. Not only do I want him to be healthy, I am worried I could be held responsible for elder abuse despite years of trying to get him help.

Attorney Answers 5

Posted

It may be time to seek a guardianship from the court. This is something you should discuss in confidential detail with an attorney before you take any action. Good luck!

Ms. Brown may be reached at 718-878-6886 during regular business hours, or anytime by email at: marykatherinebrown@hotmail.com. All of Ms. Brown's responses to questions posted on AVVO are intended as general information based upon the facts stated in the question, and are provided for educational purposes of the public, not any specific individual, and her response to the question above is not legal advice and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Ms. Brown is licensed to practice law in New York. If you would like to obtain specific legal advice about this issue, you must contact an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state.

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Posted

I agree with my colelague

NYC EXPERIENCED IMMIGRATION ATTORNEYS www.myattorneyusa.com; email: info@myattorneyusa.com; Phone: (866) 456-­8654; Fax: 212-964-0440; Cell: 212-202-0325. The information contained in this answer is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter.

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Posted

I too agree with Ms. Brown. The procedure in New York is called a Guardianship under Article 81 of the Mental Hygiene Law. From what you've said, you have a vey good case to be appointed guardian. I refer you to this web publication for more information: http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/ohrd/materials/151670.pdf

Lawyers often participate in this process as court monitors, similar to the role "Attorneys for the Children" play in Family Court proceedings, and there are panels of qualified lawyers appointed by the Courts. The Bar Association in your county can suggest an attorney who deals with Article 81 Guardianships to assist and advise you about this process.

This answer is provided under the Avvo.com “Terms and Conditions of Use” (“ToU”), particularly ¶9 which states that any information provided is not intended as legal advice or to create an attorney-client relationship between you and me or any other attorney. Such information is intended for general informational purposes only and should be used only as a starting point for addressing your legal issues. In particular, my answers and those of others are not a substitute for an in-person or telephone consultation with an attorney licensed to practice in your jurisdiction about your specific legal issue, and you should not rely solely upon Legal Information you obtain from this website or other resources which may be linked to an answer for informational purposes. You understand that questions and answers or other postings to the Site are not confidential and are not subject to attorney-client privilege. The full Avvo ToU are set forth at http://www.avvo.com/support/terms . In addition, while similar legal principles often apply in many states, I am only licensed to practice in the State of New York and Federal Courts. Any general information I provide about non-New York laws should be checked with an attorney licensed to practice in your State. Lastly, New York State Court rules (22 NYCRR Part 1200, Rule 7.1) also require me to inform you that my answers and attorney profile posted on the Avvo.com site may be considered "attorney advertising" and that "prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome".

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Posted

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

You should contact an attorney to discuss your questions as additional information would be helpful. Will he consent to a guardian? Will he consent to living in a home? If he won't consent, are you willing to go to ct. to get him help? Etc.

I wish you the best of luck.

Please remember that I do not normally monitor these questions after I have posted a reply but can be reached by telephone.

Free phone consultation Monday — Thursday 1-5 pm.

Hayley Greenberg

Greenberg & Merola, LLP, Attorneys at Law
91 N. Franklin Street, Suite 211, Hempstead, NY 11550, (516) 887-1975

521 5th Ave. Ste. 1700, New York, NY 10175, (212) 593-6111

Additional Offices: Queens & Brooklyn

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Posted

I agree that it is time to consider an Article 81 guardianship. You have very serious issues such as does anyone have a power of attorney, health care proxy, and other advance directives. The court will always look to these before granting guardianship. You want to be very careful that you do not in a situation with APS. You must act through a lawyer.

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