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What kind of legal trouble can someone get in for offering to pay money for sexual acts? I need to know what is legal and not.

Colorado Springs, CO |

My spouse has been communicating with people from web sites like craigslist, backpage and adultfriendfinder.
They have given these people their description, said when they get off work, requested and sent pictures including of genitalia, & talked about money. i.e. my place won't work but I can get one, and asking about their rates for incalls.
I have no physical proof that they have been 'cheating on me', unless the e-mails count -and there are no concrete plans of time/place -I assume this is done over the phone
I need to know what 'proof' one can get in a situation like this in the event I were to leave and take our children, or if/when police should become involved. I do not want a divorce, I would like to work things out if possible, but this has to stop somehow.

Attorney Answers 3

Posted

I don't see anything in your narrative about money for sex acts. I see risky, infidelity exploration and possible consummation. If your partner is soliciting Weinergrams, there are serious maturity and adjustment problems. Why would you want to gather evidence? This isn't the 1950's. If you want a divorce, you can get one. If you're trying to make a go of your marriage, get Wiener-solitcitor to individual and marriage counseling and see if it can be rescued. Clarity is your friend here. You know what you know.

On the other hand, if you really want that "gotcha" moment, hire a truly bottom-feeding private investigator and get photos and vids. Seems like a waste in 2014. I'm sorry for you but you need to adjust your game plan. If you're gonna be a bear, be a Grizzly.

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Asker

Posted

Re: quickies for you. - w4m Interested in bj or quickie, depending on donation. Text only: xxxxxxxxxx -------------------------------------- Re: NEEDING YOU TONIGHT!!!! to help - w4m -I can spare some cash, let's figure out how you can earn it ;) Lol ok I am cool with that. How much can U spear -Depends on how you earn it, but around 100-130 That would be great I need 150........ What do U need help with tonight -Full service, no limits ---------------------------------------- Can I get a picture, and how much? ------------------------------------------------- -Hi, I am wondering who you have available in the Springs for incall? I will check fallen angels in town -Which ones? I apologize but its R----- r--- I'm the only one available for now y--- will be around 2 or 3 --------------------------------------------- Hello, do you offer incalls? ----------------------------------------------- -Saw your ad on BP, wondering if you provide incalls and if I can get a couple pictures? --------------------------------- Hello, I'm wondering your rates for in call please? ___________________________________________________________ Sorry, but I came around nearly four decades after the 1950's, so I wouldn't know what you mean by that. I'm not interested in divorce at this point. I'm interested in figuring out Exactly what I'm dealing with and trying to see what can be done about it. I don't have the money for a private investigator. I just wanted to know legally without having a picture or video or other 'proof' like that, that he has actually done this -if it is of any interest to LE as I am aware that soliciting prostitutes is illegal -the issue is -besides a typical sting operation, how does LE 'find out' about this type of thing going on, and when you suspect your spouse of being involved, what can or should you do about it? I would hope that in the event he got into legal trouble for his actions, it could be what is needed for him to realize he needs to get his crap together and get/accept help for his issues. As far as being a grizzly, I suspect my husband has a sexual addiction stemming from a pornography addiction that added with stress has progressed over the years into other types of acting out. I was simply wondering what type of 'proof' is necessary for someone to get into trouble -if I leave him and take my children with (if he didn't decide to get it together and join us and it came down to custody being an issue), I'd need bigger 'proof' that he is an 'unfit' parent than whatever they can dream up about me (I have a pervasive developmental disorder and though I am considered high functioning, I have been quite low functioning since we moved in with his parents due to severe stress)

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Posted

I agree. CO is also a no-fault divorce state and trying to get "dirt" for the divorce won't matter.

Posted

Money offered in exchange for sex is called prostitution. That's against the law in Colorado.

Sounds more as though you could use couples therapy.

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Christopher Daniel Leroi

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Posted

I agree. CO is also a no-fault divorce state and trying to get "dirt" for the divorce won't matter.

Posted

Colorado divorce law is no fault -- you don't need to prove adultery or even flirting.

I am an Attorney-at-Law, licensed to practice law only in the state of California. Unless we have both signed a formal retainer agreement, you are not my client, and my discussion of issues does not constitute legal advice. Opinions expressed herein are those of the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of those who hold other opinions.

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10 comments

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Posted

I agree. CO is a no-fault divorce state and trying to get "dirt" for the divorce won't matter.

Anthony Bettencourt Cameron

Anthony Bettencourt Cameron

Posted

Which is why I told A it was a waste of effort, viz. divorce.

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Posted

I agreed with you. You had an excellent response and A's reply with rambling.

Asker

Posted

I'm not trying to get 'dirt' for a divorce. (and IF there Were a divorce, He would have to start it, as I won't since I want to mend things if at all possible, and I have been lead to believe I Would essentially need 'dirt' to get custody of our children) I'm NOT INTERESTED in a divorce. Does Anyone notice that? What I Am interested in, is learning exactly what I'm dealing with legally to know what I could do to possibly push this over the edge and have him end up with some consequences he can't ignore in hopes that he would use that as an incentive to turn things around and get his act together. So far my original question has still remained unanswered. I apologize for 'rambling' -I have Asperger's disorder, though I try, I find it difficult to remain succinct and still get my point across.

Gary Ralph Ilmanen

Gary Ralph Ilmanen

Posted

Turn evidence over to police and have him charged with solicitation of prostitution.

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Christopher Daniel Leroi

Posted

I don't know if having him get a felony on his record and spending time in jail will get him to "turn things around" as you are seeking. In all likelihood, it will GUARANTEE that he will file for a divorce.

Gary Ralph Ilmanen

Gary Ralph Ilmanen

Posted

You may want to get tested for STDs, by the way.

Asker

Posted

As far as I am aware, a first time offense for soliciting a prostitute is only a class 3 misdemeanor, not a felony in Colorado -am I misinformed? I had heard it was likely to be more like a $500 fine than any jail time -and If there Were jail time, it would be a maximum of 30 days would it not?... If he chooses to file for a divorce -then at least I'll have some closure. I'd like this to work out if possible and am scheduled this week to meet with a sexual addiction specialist -but there is no way to predict how he will react to the confrontation. In the event that he chooses not to 'come clean' about everything, I will very likely 'turn him in' so to speak. I hold no illusions that there is an 'easy fix' to this situation. My intent is to be aware of my options, and at least give it my best shot. -I have accepted the standard STD testing during each of my pregnancies because of my concerns -thank you for making sure I was aware though.

Asker

Posted

I neglected to add Thank you sirs, I appreciate your time and responses.

Gary Ralph Ilmanen

Gary Ralph Ilmanen

Posted

Best wishes in this troubling situation.

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