She resides now in Michigan we still speak occasionally no hard feelings we just both have not the money to hire a lawyer (well i know i do not ). Tried calling Legal Aid but they are so backed up here in New York and Michigan . I am disabled and she works . (no clue what she does or how much she makes ) She has brought the subject up only once that i can recall and that was years ago because as she said neither one of us plans of ever getting married again . I ask only because it would probably be best if it was somehow made final . I am really at a loss as to how to proceed . We were married about 20 years when we broke up . I have no assets or retirement and live on a small disability check .
Divorce / Separation Lawyer
You would still have to initiate a divorce by filing and serving a summons and complaint. Your wife can admit service so that you don't need to spend money on a process server. You can get all the required forms and instructions at your county's supreme court building or online.
This advice is not meant to create an attorney-client relationship and is a general anwer to the question posed.
Criminal Defense Attorney
You can try to do it yourself. You can find the forms on nycourts.gov
I am a former federal and State prosecutor and have been handling criminal defense and personal injury cases for over 17 years. The above answer, and any follow up comments or emails, is for informational purposes only and not meant as legal advice.