Unfortunately, any child whether he be 14 or 18 cannot choose with which parent he/she wants to live and have that choice enforced. The decision as to where a child lives (assuming a current parenting plan) is the Court’s decision. A child may express his or her desires once a Petition to modify the parenting plan is filed, but that desire is by no means controlling. In most cases, a Guardian ad Litem would be appointed to investigate what would be in the child’s best interest once a proper Petition is filed to modify the current parenting plan. The Guardian ad litem would then write a report and recommendation for the court’s review that would include the child’s wishes. The court then decides whether or not the recommendation will be adopted and act as a basis to modify the current parenting.
In short, a child’s desire to live with one parent or another is never controlling, no matter how old the child is. Once a child reaches the “Age of Discretion” (which is different for every child) his /her wishes may be considered by the court but is not controlling. That decision lies with the court and not with the parties.
There is no magic age when children get to decide where to live. The best interest of the child is the standard.
The law regarding a child's 'right'* to choose is a matter for each State and jurisdiction. The judge in most States, not the child, makes the decision based on the best interest of the child. Although not a standard by any means, many States have begun to give 'consideration' to a child's declaration of custodial preference when the child reaches the age of twelve or thirteen, sometimes fourteen. There are even cases when children of age 9 are allowed to testify.
The judge is normally given almost unlimited latitude in whether or not she or he listens to a child and how much weight to give to the child's wishes. In short, there is no specific "age" but the younger the child the less likely for a judge to give the stated preference much weight.
Good luck to you.
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