I am the complaint of the case and do not feel that I could be properly represent w/o lawyers?
If you don't show up for a deposition, the court can impose sanctions, including requiring you to pay the other side's attorneys fees. If you continue to refuse, the court can rule against you on your complaint - basically dismissing your case.
Talk to your lawyer about the law in your state. If you don't have a lawyer, call the local bar association and get a referral. You should not give a deposition without a lawyer there representing you, and preparing you in advance for the process.
If you do not appear for a scheduled deposition, you may have to pay the other side's legal fees, and they can move to compel you to attend. If you still don't show up, your case will be dismissed (and you may owe even more legal fees). If this is in federal court, it could be dismissed even without a motion to compel first. If you can't properly represent yourself without a lawyer, then you need to hire a lawyer.