i filed for full custody for my two children and did not serve my childrens father but told him the date and time he does not want to attend so what would happen if i just shoe up we did settle it what days he would get the children
Unless there is proper service made on the other party, the court will not proceed. From the sound of things, you would do well to reschedule the date, serve him correctly, then if he doesn't go and you do, your request will be granted.
Most courts have a certain minimum amount of time that is given to the non-custodial parent. Often this is alternate weekends, some holidays and some time in the summer. However, if he does not show up, it is possible the court will make no provision for visitation to him.
Please note that I do not practice in your state. The above is not intended as legal advice.