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What do can i do if my soon to be Ex Husband won't sign the divorce papers that i've sent to him?

Coos Bay, OR |

My soon to be Ex Husband and i got married in october 29th,2007 and we did not live together after we got married and he also told me a month after we got married that he cheated on me the day after we got married and then after that i left him but he kept stalking me where ever i want and he also threatened my life so i had to put a restraining order on him but he still stalked me and was always across my apartment and i called the cops and i told them i had a restraing order on him but they did not do nothing so i had to move out of portland,maine and i haven't been back there since but i did send him divorce papers after divorce papers and oh yeah i would love to get this divorce over and done with i've been sending them to him since2008 and he just does not sign the papers.

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Attorney answers 3


I am sorry to tell you, that you could have finished the divorced about 2 months after you filed it IF you had received advice from a divorce attorney in Oregon. If done properly filed, and served, AND he does not file a Response with the court, you can take a default divorce against him and it is all done. NOW, assuming he is still living in Oregon OR you two were married in Oregon, you need to give me a call for a free telephone consultation: 503-201-8933, Diane

Be sure to designate "best answer." If you live in Oregon, you may call me for more detailed advice, 503-650-9662. Please be aware that each answer on this website is based upon the facts, or lack thereof, provided in the question. To be sure you get complete and comprehensive answers, based upon the totality of your situation, contact a local attorney who specializes in the area of law that involves your legal problem. Diane L. Gruber has been practicing law in Oregon for 26 years, specializing in family law, bankruptcy, estate planning and probate. Note: Diane L. Gruber does not represent you until a written fee agreement has been signed by you and Diane L. Gruber, and the fee listed in the agreement has been paid.

Diane L Gruber

Diane L Gruber


PS: If he is not living in Oregon and you two were not married in Oregon, you will need to either contact an attorney in the state where he lives or file in the state where you were married. Sorry.

Orion Jacob Nessly

Orion Jacob Nessly


Regardless of where you were married or where your husband lives, you can file in Oregon as long as you have been a resident of this state for at least the past 6 months.


You file a contested case - and you don't send the papers, you have him served. Consult a local attorney - doing this on your own isn't working!

Under the rules governing the conduct of attorneys in New York it may be necessary to remind you that this answer could be considered attorney advertising.

Diane L Gruber

Diane L Gruber


Yes, mailing documents to him has NO legal effect. He MUST be served by a private process server ($30 if he lives in OR) or by the local sheriff (again $30 if he lives in OR).


You can't force your husband to sign any papers - no one can ever really compel someone else to agree to terms. But if he won't agree, then you can file a petition, have him served, and ask the court to make a ruling, without his agreement.

Oregon is a no-fault divorce state. This means that no one needs to demonstrate any specific facts to justify a divorce -- any married person can get divorced by stating to a court that the marriage has broken down. No other reason needs to be given. So he can't stop you from ending your marriage, if you want to do so.

It also bears mention that, if you've taken out a restraining order against him, your husband has good reason not to send you any papers, even at your request - if he did, he'd be in violation of the restraining order, and could be charged with a crime. You cannot file for a restraining order against someone and then demand that they communicate with you on your terms. The restraining order prohibits all contact, not just contact that you don't want. This is another reason to hire an attorney - if you're represented, then you can communicate through counsel.

Please read the following notice: <br> <br> Jay Bodzin is licensed to practice law in the State of Oregon and the Federal District of Oregon, and cannot give advice about the laws of other jurisdictions. All comments on this site are intended for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice or create an attorney-client relationship. No posts or comments on this site are in any way confidential. Each case is unique. You are advised to have counsel at all stages of any legal proceeding, and to speak with your own lawyer in private to get advice about your specific situation. <br> <br> Jay Bodzin, Northwest Law Office, 2075 SW First Avenue, Suite 2J, Portland, OR 97201 | Telephone: 503-227-0965 | Facsimile: 503-345-0926 | Email: | Online:

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