What constitutes as harassment?

Asked almost 4 years ago - Clovis, CA

My ex wife sends me text messages "claiming" that something I said or did made our daughter/s cry or hurt them? When I try to explain what I meant and/or didn't say/do what she claims. She tells me to stop harassing HER. But the messages from her don't stop, telling me I'm a bad father i.e. i'm guilting the children. When I tell her that I would like to talk as adults she again says that I'm harassing her. I don't initiate the messages in the first place. She always takes things out of context and paints me in a negative light to our daughters. This has happened more than once and I have the messages, can I file harassment charges. I live in Clovis CA. and she lives in Corona CA. and our custody is being handled in Orange County. Can I file where I live?

Attorney answers (2)

  1. Peter Robert Stone

    Contributor Level 15

    Answered . You can ask for civil harassment when you are in imminent danger. However if you are involved in a family law proceeding you can present the texts to the judge ad ask for relief. You could also call the police, but frankly I think you should change your number and get a phone with no text capabilities and tell her only that number. To talk with her you need a mediator or counselor.

  2. Rebekah Ryan Main


    Contributor Level 18

    Answered . I would consider two options: First, ask the court for a mutual restraining order, confining your communications to certain methods or subjects. This would prevent her harassing behavior and protect you from accusations of harassment. If she doesn’t comply, she’ll be in contempt.

    Second, look into a service called Our Family Wizard. This allows parent who are having difficulty communicating to keep in touch regarding the kids in a useful way. Here’s a link:


    Best of luck to you.

    This response is intended to be a general statement of law, should not be relied upon as legal advice, does not create an attorney/client relationship and does not create a right to continuing email exchanges.

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