We have shared custody. He can go from 0 to 100 in a split second and is also a compulsive liar. I worry that my 13 year old son will adopt this type of personality. My son loves his father who coaches all of his sporting activities, but he also tells me he is often afraid of him. My son has said his dad and live in girlfriend swear a lot (gf is fine towards him-though I think she has a pain killer addiction), dad has sworn at him in anger. His dad has mentioned that he has physically disciplined him, not quite sure how.There is this secrecy between them. I believe my son doesn't tell me things because he doesn't want me to address it as I have in the past. Also I do fear my ex. He has never been physically abusive to me, but he knows of things in my past that he hangs over me
International Law Attorney
Sounds like you have a workable but dysfunctional custody arrangement. before you do anything, speak with a family law attorney in detail about the pros and cons of trying to address the situation in court.
You should probably consult a family law attorney. You state that your son loves his father and his father appears fairly involved in his life, however, you son is often afraid of him. Is your son in therapy? What is the father doing to make him scared? If you son is afraid of his father, but will not give you details, then it would make sense for someone trained in child psychology to be meeting with your son to possibly find out why he has these fears and possibly if they are legit. If your agreement provided for joint decisions on therapy and your ex will not agree to it, then you will likely need to file a motion and ask the court to order it.