Active divorce, we are separated. Wife has a boyfriend for sure. Most would say that this adultery, especially during separation, would not affected child custody at the final trial because it's irrelevant.
But my question is, what are some of the many ways that adultery during separation WOULD be relevant? I'm sure the answers has something to do with "If it adversely affects the kids..." I'm looking for more than just a one-sentence answer, thanks.
Adultery can affect child custody because you're essentially bringing in a new (and potentially important) person into the children's lives at a difficult time. If you file for divorce, a judge will often order that the spouse cannot have visitors of the opposite sex stay overnight while the children are present.
Additionally, it's pretty common for the new romantic interest to suffer heavy scrutiny. While it doesn't happen often, I have seen a spouse get their custody switched because their new romantic interest is a felon or a sex offender. You can also file for a social study and a social worker will probably ask to see that new partner around the kids and see how they interact and make a judgment in that manner.
I am sorry that you are going through this. Attorney Cohen gave you the perfect answer, if the new boyfriend has a criminal history or any sort of bad history it can be used in your favor, also the courts do not like the parties to have "sleepover" guests that are of the romanic nature during the process as it is not good for the children. take care and hope that things work out.
Legal disclaimer: The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of Massachusetts. Responses are based solely on Massachusetts law unless stated otherwise.
How are the children reacting? Do they mention the boyfriend? If they have not met him, then he is irrelevant. If she is never around the children because she is always spending time with him, then that could be considered regarding who should have primary custody of the children.
I assume that you have an attorney representing you. Quite frankly, I've withdraw from a case where I had a client that did not trust my judgment. You are "shopping" around for answers from attorneys that don't know anything about your case -- I would not take any advice from a person that did not intimately know my case. If you have an attorney - trust him or her. If you don't trust your attorney, then find a new one.
If you don't have an attorney, you desperately need one if you are involved in a messy divorce.
If you are representing yourself, understand that I'm a twice divorced attorney and I had legal counsel in both of my divorces. I would never represent myself in court - I always retain legal counsel when I enter a courtroom as a party in a lawsuit.