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What are my rights to alimony and child support?

Asked about 3 years ago - Atlanta, GA

I had an affair, we tried to reconcile, went to counseling, lived as husband & wife for a year afterwards, but I decided to end the marriage. I moved in with a relative over 25 miles away, leaving my children with their father. We decided it was better for them to remain in their school district, rather than disrupt their lives further.
We agreed the house would be put up for sale, hopefully to be sold by summer. Giving us both time to find housing before school resumed after summer break.
I agreed to pay the bills "as usual" until the house sold because he wouldn't be able to afford it on his own. We agreed to divide the proceeds from the sale, of which I was going to use to pay off the 20k debt in my name that WE accrued together.
Summer rolls around & he hasn't prepared the house for sale or even spoke to a real estate agent. Basically he's living in the house with the kids, the bills are being paid and I've come to the realization he had no intention on selling the house. So thats when I decided to get my own bank account and quit paying the bills.
Meanwhile, I'm still stuck with my name tied to the mortgage and equity line because he won't sell it, nor will he try to obtain financing in his name. Plus I'm still having to pay the 20k debt in my name.
I can't get housing of my own, back in my kids school district or anywhere else for that matter, because I can't afford it and the credit load attached to my name doesn't help either.
In the state of GA, since I did have an affair and I did "leave", what realistically am I looking at as far as getting my kids back and some sort of financial relief? He makes over twice as much as I do and has a 401k plan and I cannot even begin thinking of obtaining housing for the kids and myself without some sort of child support and/or alimony.
I spoke with my children about living arrangements and their preferences, since they're teenagers they chose the option of one week with me (assuming I can find a place to live)and one week with their father vs every other weekend.

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Attorney answers (1)

John Preston Smith

Reputation Level 8

Answered over 2 years ago. Child Support Lawyer in Atlanta, GA.

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If you are sure the marriage is over, then you need to file for divorce in the superior court of the county in which your husband resides with the children and request a temporary hearing as soon as possible to deal with the immediate issues of temporary custody and temporary payment of debts. As parents you both have equal rights to the children. The Court is going to look at what is in the children's best interest in determining temporary and permanent custody. Children over the age of 14 can express their wishes in that regard (they sign an "election") to the Judge, but he only has to take that under consideration; it is not automatic. Other custody factors includes who historically took care of kids; who is staying is school district; who is more stable; and who is better able to get along with the other parent. A parent who is willing to communicate rationally with the other parent is in a much better position to seek primary custody.

The fact that you moved out does not help the case. You need to stay active in kids lives.

In terms of alimony, adultery is a bar to alimony if it can be shown that it was the cause of your separation. It sounds like you reconciled with your husband after the affair and he forgave you and therefore it is not the cause. ..but conduct during the marriage can have an affect on alimony as well as length of the marriage and a variety of other factors.

The bills are both of your responsibilities...but until there is a court order (at temporary hearing referenced above) designating who has to pay what everything is up in the air...but letting your credit get blemished is good reason to move quickly. Good luck and I suggest you hire local counsel to help you through this.

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