The problems you are experiencing, unfortunately, happen to a lot of parents.
You have a young child, you may need very specific orders for the time being. Hopefully, in the future, you and your ex will be able to cooperate with flexibility, but in the beginning stages, many young parents find it easier to follow very, very, specific orders, such as specific times for telephone calls, mutual agreement regarding child care providers, child care provider that is fully licensed, etc.
Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.
It is difficult to try to co-parent with a parent who does not abide by court orders or encourage the mother-child relationship, however, you should not be denied time to speak or visit with your son even if your son is living with the father at this time. You need to keep track of every time the father has either denied you visitation or ignored your calls to the child. When back in court, you should ask the court for specific orders regarding a schedule for you to call your son. Also, if you have legal custody and he is not sharing information regarding your son such as schooling and medical information, bring this to the attention of the judge when next in court, his pattern of failing to co-parent with you, will catch up to him if he doesn’t fix his ways, the court will not look lightly on a violations of the court orders.
Disclaimer: This answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied upon as such. Each situation is fact specific and therefore any legal evaluation may vary. Please note it is impossible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the relevant facts and documents at issue. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.