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Was I the victim of sexual assault?

New York, NY |

About a week before we broke up, my boyfriend came up behind me and started rubbing my breasts. I told him to knock it off, and he did, but he never asked for consent before he touched me in the first place.

Does anyone know if it's still sexual assault even if I was his girlfriend and he stopped when I told him to? I feel violated and am thinking of reporting him to the police.

Attorney Answers 3

  1. If you were strangers, it certainly would be criminal. The same if you are in a relationship. You state you "broke up" and that this happened before the assault. While you may not have consented, it would be a particularly ambitious and confident prosecutor who felt s/he could prove beyond a reasonable doubt that there was no consent at a trial. As a first test, see if the police will entertain a complaint. If they do, then you will have to deal with the prosecutor's office which must prove guilt, not merely charge someone with a crime. So the short answer is yes, it is assault even if you were in a relationship, but proving it is another matter.

    If you found this "helpful" or "best answer," please click it with my appreciation. My response is for educational purposes and does not constitute legal advice nor creates an attorney client relationship which requires all the details and a personal conference.

  2. Let's assume that there was an occasion where you playfully snuck up behind him and slapped or squeezed his butt. Let's further assume that you broke up with him and a week later the poilce came to your house and handcuffed you because he had you arrested for sexual abuse. Would you nt be outraged? Would it not be a vindictive act on his part as he did not make a complaint that night to you, the poilce, or anyone. How would you feel about being in jail and having a sexual abuse record? Would you think that was fair? Your complaint should have been made at the time of the incident, not later when you are mad at him and are looking to get even and use this incident to hurt him. This is especially true if you were happy at the time and having sexual relations. There is an implied consent in those situations as the intent here was not to molest you or violate you, it seems that he was horsing around and you told him to stop. He respected your wishes and I assume did not continue to do it. The prosecutor will know that he could never get a conviction or that it would at least be very difficult and the police will probably view it as marginal and perhaps not want to pursue the matter. They are used to vindictive people looking to use them to get even with others and do not appreciate it. If it was a first date perhaps that would be different, but do you not see how unfair and revengeful it would be to try to have him arrested now that you have broken up when you did not do so at the time it happened? I hope you see the truth in my words, most people cannot listen to others opinions, they are stubborn and see it as criticism, this is just the good advice you were looking for in this forum.

  3. How interesting this exact same question and same wording was asked from Houston, Texas, also. Seriously doubt police would do anything other than take the report and I doubt the District Attorney would even present this matter to a Grand Jury.

    If this information has been helpful, please indicate below. I hope my information is helpful to you. If you think this post was a good answer, please click the "Good Answer" button below and/or designate my answer as the "BEST ANSWER". Thanks. This is a general response to a question for basic information and is not legal advice. Legal advice can only be given when all of the facts of your situation are discussed with a lawyer, which we have not done.. If you reside outside the State of Texas please understand that the laws may be different from the laws that I may cite in a my comment. This comment is not to be construed as legal advice to your particular situation because there are many factors that influence legal counseling- this is simply a comment. Response to an email does not create an attorney-client relationship between you and the Law Offices of Kevin R. Madison, P.C., nor any of its attorneys. If you send us an e-mail, or call us, and we do not already represent you, neither your e-mail inquiry nor telephone call will create an attorney-client relationship. E-mails cannot necessarily be treated as privileged or confidential. Only entering into a written legal services contract with the Law Offices of Kevin R. Madison, P.C. will create an attorney-client relationship. There is no substitute for one-on-one legal advice and you are urged to meet with an attorney and discuss your case, personally, with an attorney in the state in which you reside or your case occurred. Thank you. Kevin R. Madison. Visit our website at and Kevin Madison, Austin, Texas- representing injured persons in motor vehicle collision, truck and motorcucle accidents and representing victims of sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual abuse, physical assaults, and representing victims of sexual exploitation committed by doctors, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, clergy, counselors, priests, and rabbis. Visit our sexual harassment/sexual exploitation blog at

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