Skip to main content

Want to Divorce addict/alcoholic Husband. In a Desperate Situation.

Stanhope, NJ |

I'm married to an alcoholic/addict who is verbally abusive to me & my sons ages 9 and 4. We're married 10 years & his problems have gotten progressively worse. His father was killed in an accident on Oct 1st 2012 & since then he's become full-blown alcoholic. His father was the only "father" my kids had & my oldest was especially affected. On Oct15th I called the cops on him when he was on a drunken rampage breaking stuff & filed a RO but dropped it a week later. I know now I should have kept it, I need to get away from my husband but have no $$ and haven't worked since I got married (have a BA in human ecology but never used degree.), husband only makes $52k a year but he received a 20k life ins check with which he bought a new car and expecting another 30-50k soon. What should I do?

If I have to get a Protective Order against him, will I be able to get child support? Also the new car we just bought is in his name but it is the only reliable transportation I have to take my kids to school or anywhere. The dischord between us is getting progressively worse. He says nothing to me that is not an insult or somehow negative. He is beginning to not let me leave the house, becoming very controlling. I am going to lose my mind at this rate. Also, is the life insurance $$ he received and will received a marital asset because it's the only real money he has to offer.

Attorney Answers 4


  1. You might do some research into your job prospects before you see an attorney. If your husband us really using at the level you describe he could be unemployed soon. I also suggest you borrow or use a credit card for at least a consultation on your state with a FAmily Attorney so you will understand what to expect in your state.


  2. I am so sorry about your situation. Things can get better. First, be safe. if you feel any threat, get a R/O again, and this time don't drop it. Have you been to Al-Anon? That's the first thing you need to do. Then you need to separate because you can't continue living this way. He will need to support you while you get back on your feet and he will have to pay for child support. Is there any money in savings? Money from his dad is not subject to equitable distribution but it will free him up to provide some rehabilitative support for you from his income. A consultation with an attorney would be great.

    Please be advised my answers to questions does not constitute legal advise and you should not rely on it, due to the fact that we have never met, I have not been aprised of the facts in you case nor have I reviewed any documents.


  3. You definitely need to consult with an attorney. If he had proceeds from life insurance, this would likely be marital property. If he spent a good part of it, you may be entitled to have him reimburse you for what should have been your share. Since you have a degree, you would probably be entitled to rehabilitative alimony. And of course, there is child support. If you feel in danger, don't hesitate to file again for a TRO and make sure you get the FRO if you can. There are also shelters for abused women who might be in immediate danger.

    DISCLAIMER: This communication does not create an attorney-client relationship and is not legal advice unless you have entered into a fee agreement with the Law Office of Anthony J. Van Zwaren, P.C. and have paid the required fees. The information contained in this email may be privileged. Dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail or the information contained within it by anyone other than the intended recipient is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete this message and any attachments from your system and notify us.


  4. I agree with my colleagues that you should consult an attorney immediately. New Jersey also has a good system of shelters for abused women, for instance, Womanspace,which is located in Princeton. The shelter will also be able to direct you to your best option for legal assistance as far as what local attorneys specialize in domestic violence matters/abusive relationships. The shelter can also provide counseling and other services. You must be proactive for your children, because they cannot fight for themselves. Good luck.

    The information provided is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. This information is designed for general information only. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your specific situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and emails. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.