WA state divorce laws, does it matter who files for divorce first

It seems someone better do something and soon for the sake of sanity and the children. Filing first doesn't have an effect on Custody. Get to a lawyer right away to get an order haveing him leave your home and having the girls with you temporarily. Get some support...Financial from him, (through the court if you have too) and emotional from a good psychotherapist or a support group for emotionally battered women.

Do not wait. If you want custody you need to make notes of the ways he abuses you. Get a diary and keep it. Get to a lawyer ASAP. If you don't know a good lawyer in Matrimonial or family law issues, search here on Avvo.com. A lawyer rated very good or better should be able to help you more than adequately.

Good luck

If it is the marital house, then he does not have to leave until there is a court order stating that he must leave.

Once a petition has been filed with the court, one of the spouses may file motions with the court for temporary orders among which is who gets to stay in the house.

If the parents cannot agree on the parenting plan, the court will make one based on the best interest of the children.

Who files first should not have an effect on the ultimate outcome if both sides participate in the proceedings. However, some people may derive some psychological satisfaction in being first.

You may want to review your facts and options with an attorney.