WA child custody law, seeking primary custody when not married to biological father

It is very understandable that you are frightened and worried. While it seems easy for me to say, because I am not the one paying, you would be really wise to meet with an experienced family law attorney and get advice for at least a half hour or an hour. If you can possibly afford it, having a lawyer represent you would be best. Find a lawyer by searching yourself using tools like AVVO or use a lawyer finder from advantagedenton.com.

Here is the best specific advice I can give you in this limited place: I recommend that you not mention so many case details or the dad's name in a public place like this. From what you say, a case for child support may have already been filed in Kitsap County (unless child support was set administratively, without court action). Find out from the court clerk's web site whether a case with your name is in any court. Even if the case is filed in Bremerton (but nothing was filed recently), you can probably file in Thurston County for your convenience. You should ask for a parenting plan which is in your child's best interests and supports and nurtures a positive relationship with the father in a safe way. The parenting plan should also share transportation work and cost between you in a reasonable way (usually each parent transports one way or you meet at a halfway/convenient point). If child support is set too low (and was not set by a court within the last two years), you can ask for an increase in the child support amount (but it is much smarter to have an attorney evaluate this first to avoid support going down under certian circumstances). It seems to me that you can ask the court to hold Casey in contempt for not financially supporting his child. You may be able to get this service for free (but they won't deal with your parenting plan) from the County Prosecuting Attorney's office through the Washington State Division of Child Support.

Casey has his law mixed up and I don't recommend letting him give you legal advice about federal law. It is not legal for one parent to hide the child from the other parent (without court orders for protection) but no law says you have to drive back and forth to Bremerton. I do encourage you, however, to continue making efforts to support your child's relationship with the father. If you feel that his drinking endangers the safety of your child, you need to get a parenting plan that prevents overnights, makes them supervised, or otherwise protects your child from his problem. The court can require him to have a drug and alcohol evaluation and follow treatment recommendations before restrictions on visitation are lifted.

Best wishes on getting the help you need and having a safe and stable family life. My heart goes out to you because this is a tough situation to be in. Try not to say any unneccessary nasty things in the court files, since it is publically accessible and your child may see it one day.