Visitation rights, court soon.

my ex girlfriend will not let me see my son and I have been giving her more than the 20% for the state of Illinois. He is 9 mo. old, and she will say I can see him, and then out of spite because her and I are no longer together will refuse to let me take him.
She went and got an attorney, instead of willing to come to some agreement between her and I, once again...out of spite. I cannot afford an attorney, and would rather pay that money for needs for my son. I am afraid I will not get 50% custody like I want, I can't get more than that, and I believe that is fair that we both get to see him the same amount of time. I am afraid and at a loss, because it seems judges side with the mother.