We split up last year and the mother of my child has been making the last year of my life a living hell in every way, from putting the minimum amount of time into skype visitations, to watching the clock to the minute when I visit, to the wild accusations. Today after visitation, and despite not even changing my daughters diaper even, she called to say in the bath my daughter said "ow-ie" point to her genitals, and said she has notified the police and social workers that I am a predator. clearly there's no way to prove against any insane accusations like this unless I video taped every second with my daughter.
What can I do legally to end this nightmare I'm being put through or is there any way to counteract these emotionally distressing accusations and protect myself and my daughter?
Child Custody Lawyer
You did not mention how old your daughter is. If your ex called the police and social workers, you will be hearing from them. If you have the funds, I suggest you retain a family law attorney to protect your interests.
If her accusations have no foundation, they will see what is going on quickly. The individuals in law enforcement and child and family services are familiar with situations like yours. If your daughter is very young (not talking yet), you can protect yourself by having other family members or friends present during your visits so you have witnesses who can vouch for you.
If there is no basis for these accusations, you may want to consider her motive. Is she making these accusations out of fear / paranoia? If this is the case, ask her about her fears - was she molested as a child? Perhaps you can reassure her rather than react angrily at her accusations. Or is she making the accusations out of anger and trying to get back at you?
Either way, you have a child with this woman and you are stuck co-parenting with her as long as you are involved in your daughter's life. It would be wise to do everything in your power to de-escalate animosity between you. If she is selfish and immature, there is nothing you can do but ignore her antics as much as possible and focus on being a good father and making sure that your time with your daughter is quality time.
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Child Custody Lawyer
You need to get an attorney to help you, and perhaps request a 730 evaluation. This will not end until she sees it is not working.
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Divorce / Separation Lawyer
This is certainly a distressing situation and one that should be addressed immediately so that you don't have law enforcement personnel knocking at your door. You should consult with a family lawyer so that your rights are protected. Without knowing all the facts, it appears that your ex has an agenda and she's going all out to see that her agenda is working. Discuss this with a good family lawyer. He or she will know what to do and how to protect you against what appears to be a vindictive ex. Best of luck to you.
Tina Tran, Esq. is licensed to practice law in the State of California. Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship with Tina Tran, Esq.