I filed pro se for divorce from my ex, on the grounds of one year separation. We have been separate with zero contact since the beginning of 2007. I have two children now, ages two and 1. We both agree on everything about the divorce, and I know for a fact that as far as we are both concerned, there will be no issues. My kids' dad will be my character witness.
I can't stop having panic attacks though. I am worried that whatever judge presides over this case is going to judge (no pun intended) me for having two kids while still technically married. I don't know what could possibly happen. I don't know if he/she could deny the divorce, call me a w***e or what. Considering where I live, I doubt the latter would happen, but I am incredibly anxious over it. Any advice would be great.
Estate Planning Attorney
Generally, if you have petitioned for divorce on the grounds on one year's separation (desertion), you must prove you have had no contact or support for one year or more. From what you have written, it seems that is the case, although you mention nothing about support.
The standard the court will use in determining what will happen with the children is 'best interests' of the children. Assuming they live with you and/or the father, and the situation is one that is in the best interests of the children, the court will in all likelihood keep the situation as it is.
I seriously doubt the judge will take you to task for having two children while still technically married, because, unless there is something you have not revealed here, it has nothing to do with this case. I also seriously doubt that any judge would call you names, particularly in open court.
If you still are not reasonably comfortable with the situation and have questions, I strongly suggest you consult with an attorney experienced in family law. This website has contact information for attorneys in your area and I'm sure one of them will be glad to consult with you.