Restraining order

Asked about 2 years ago - Brookline, MA

I went to court for getting restraining order i got restraining order, my ex husband hit me on 8/17/2012 and after that he never said anything to me, i wanted to drop my restraing order, even there was police report also, but before hearing i wanted to drop, i also my ex husband didnt know he send me message probably next day he got paper, its hurt me i wanted to drop before hearing i think is not nice, how i do this just go to court and withdraw,

Attorney answers (3)

  1. Jefferson W. Boone

    Pro

    Contributor Level 14

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    Answered . "How", is easy. Go to the court where you got the order and say you wish to vacate it. You may be able to do it right then, or you may have to notify your husband so he can be there (e.g., file a motion, and notify him of it). The victim/witness advocate should be able to help you and give you a form to fill out.

    A better question is, "Why"? He is your ex, and he hit you. There may have been similar issues which caused you to divorce him. Domestic violence is rarely a one-time event, but more often a gradual escalation of violence and control-seeking by the abuser. If he hit you once, it is fairly likely he will do it again, if you permit it. If he hit or threatened you more than once, the probability of future violence is very, very high.

    You may have concerns about child support, visitation, or your own support. These are, or should be independent of concerns for your safety and health, including emotional health.

    I strongly suggest two things: 1) that you seek or continue with counseling. You can get a referral through the victim//witness advocate at Brookline C ourt, or at the town hall, across the streeet from the courthouse. It's free. 2) that, rather than vacating the order entirely, you remove the parts that you consider overly strong. You can vacate the no-contact part of the order, or limit it to permit certain types of contact only (such as telephone calls), while retaining the no-abuse order.

    If you recall the story of the boy who cried, "Wolf!", you don't want to vacate the order, only to show up next month seeking a new order. Serial orders and dismissals may prevent you from getting the protection you need when you need it most.

    By the way, none of what I've said, and none of what you are feeling is news to anybody involved in even a slight way with domestic violence issues on a regular basis. This is why I advise you to get connected to the vast array of services available for battered women.

    The foregoing answer does not establish an attorney client relationship, is not confidential, and should not be... more
  2. Gregory Casale

    Contributor Level 13

    4

    Lawyers agree

    Answered . You have the right to drop the Restraining Order (R/O) against your ex. A R/O is a civil order issued by the court, but it is You v. your Ex, which indicates that you are the plaintiff and as such have the absolute right to drop it. If he violated the order, that is a different story. In a criminal complaint it is Commonwealth v. Your Ex, indicating the Commonwealth to be the plaintiff. That means only the Commonwealth, as represented by the court, can drop the charges. You should make sure before you do this that you feel safe and do not need the protection of the Court. If you do go ahead and drop it remember that if something else happens that once again causes you to feel unsafe you can go back to court or just call the police to request that the order be reinstated. If he hit you, you should not feel guilty for protecting yourself. He made the choice to harm or threaten you. It is he who should be guilty for doing so. You do nothing wrong by protecting yourself!

  3. Ilir Kavaja

    Contributor Level 15

    1

    Lawyer agrees

    Answered . It all depends. Were criminal charges filed against your husband? If so, you can't, otherwise you may be able to. Try going to the clerk's office at the courthouse where you filed it originally. They may be able to help.

    Keep in mind, that if your ex has hit you before, there's a high chance he will hit you again. Your safety comes first. Think of the consequences of withdrawing the R/O or contact a lawyer.

    Good Luck,

    Law Office of Ilir Kavaja
    30 Newbury Street
    Boston, MA 02116

    617-515-5545
    www.KavajaLaw.com

    The above is NOT legal advice, and is NOT intended to be legal advice. No Attorney-Client relationship is created... more

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