Renegotiating custody and visitation 5 years after a nasty divorce. Mediation independent or court? Which one?

Attorney answers (2)

1. Licensed in CA

   

   Sondra Bennaeim

   Santa Ana Mediation Attorney

   Contributor Level 12

   Answered May 07, 2009 13:34. If your ex-wife is open to mediation, I always feel this is the best place to start. If she is unwilling to work with you, you will have to go back into family court and see if the judge will consider changing your custody arrangement.

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2. Licensed in CA

   

   Andrew Westover

   San Jose Family Law Attorney

   Contributor Level 11

   Answered July 01, 2009 10:07. Certainly negotiation and mediation are good ways to go. When they work, they save everyone tons of time and expense.
   
   However, you need to aggresively pursue your rights and protect your children. A ten or thirteen year old child is not old enough to make such a parenting decision. You need to seek an attorney and file for a modification of custody and to enforce the current orders that are in place (i.e. the move, etc...)
   
   I would not delay. if the case started here in Santa Clara County, then you would be wise to initiate a new filing while the case is still here. If the children have lived in another county for the past 5 years, your ex can possibly get the case moved to that county if she initiates the court filing there.
   
   The short answer: You need to actively pursue this matter (if it is important to you) and not wait for mediation alone.... In fact, you can still go through mediation, even while your new motion is pending.
   
   Good luck.... You probably will need an attorney to help you on this one.....

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