So long as she is taping a conversation she is a party to, it is not illegal. Moreover, she does not even need to disclose that she's taping the conversation. That, said you may wish to double-check with a NJ criminal law attorney (as perhaps the laws are different in NJ). For a full assessment of the situation, you should schedule a consultation with a Westchester Divorce attorney.
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NY is a one-party consent state. I suggest you post on Avvo's NJ section to see what its law is.
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If the recording is done interstate, then it is a question of Federal wiretapping statute. Also a question of NJ law. Post under NJ section. Consult with your lawyer about the wording of your agreement regarding uninterrupted and unmonitored communication with your child.
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