process for child custody modification in Arizona, children's right to chose

There is no "age" where children can decide for themselves where they will live. It is often a heartwrenching decision for kids. The older the child and the more mature, the more say a judge will give to them in reaching the decision.

That you are an army recruiter should in many cases work to your advantage. Unfortunately I am sure it doesn't allow for regular hours. Hence the boys living with you may not be possible right now.

The best thing you can do is to document all of her game playing. Keep a diary, record your calls with her if that is allowed under the rules of your home state, send letters to her (nice letters professional) return reciept requested that show that you object to her failure to let you have your regularly scheduled visits etc.

Good luck

As a supplement to the above answer, Arizona is a one-party state and only one person needs to know that the conversation is being taped. $1,800/month seems like an insane amount of child support. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen support that high in my practice here in Maricopa County. There may be reason to decrease the support. You could also request more time with the kids and they would have a say in the decision even though it is not the deciding factor.