Positioning yourself for custody before separation

Asked over 2 years ago - Raleigh, NC

I'm the Husband, with wife that wants to separate, we are fairly equally involved with kids. Wife is taking kids once every week or two to spend the night with her parents without consulting me. She is trying to "do more" know than she used to, which has me concerned I should do the same. Taking them to do stuff on day and telling me I can not come, etc. Should I be going out of my way to do additional things (like eat lunch at kids school, etc). How should I contest her taking kids? Is it hurting my case? I am taking easter week off to be with kids and have been thinking of taking them on a vacation by myself, which I know wife will not want me to do. Is this a good/bad/indifferent? Kids want to go. I'm keeping a journal of everything, any other tips to improve odds?

Attorney answers (1)

  1. Gregory J. Brewer


    Contributor Level 14

    Answered . Definitely do not let your wife manipulate the situation. You have equal rights to your children, and if they want to go with you on vacation, then take them. I suggest you also take lots of photos with you and the children doing things together. Stay involved with their school, extracurriculars, and medical/dental appointments. Be sure the teachers know who you are and you know who they are. Don't let your wife push you out of these responsibilities. Be sure you have copies of important documents and photos in a safe place. Information is power. I suggest you talk with her about a separation agreement which provides for joint legal and joint physical custody, exchanging on a week-to-week basis, or some similar rotation. An attorney can prepare this for you for a very reasonable fee.

Related Topics


Divorce is the process of formally ending a marriage. Divorces may be jointly agreed upon, resolved by negotiation, or decided in court.

Child Custody in a Divorce

Child custody may be physical or legal. Physical custody covers who the child lives with, and legal custody is the right to make decisions.

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