My friend is trying to get out of her marriage. She has been faced with a difficult dilemma and I would be grateful for your assistance with this matter. This is not a particularly happy marriage and she has had to suffer greatly.
Her husband wants to borrow USD 11,140 from her in order to pay off his 401K loan. He can then take out another USD 30,000 loan.
He has then promised to pay her back this USD 11,140 plus other bits of alimony. She is concerned that he may not be good as his word and backtrack on the deal. She then could take him to court. Her concern is that he has the necessary finances to battle her on this and she would find it difficult to fight needing between 15,000 to 20,000 to do it. This falls under California law.
What do you advise ?
Lawsuit / Dispute Attorney
I advise that she consult with her family law attorney and understand why this does not sound like a good idea. Also, in your posting you have a conflicting view that she is concerned that "he has the necessary finances to battle her on this." If he has the money to battle her on this, then why would she want to give him more money? Also, if he has money, why does he need to borrow any money from her? This does not add up. It sounds to me at though she is throwing away her money with that loan under those conditions. It does not sound like she really wants to get a divorce, or she'd have a lawyer advising her.
She would be best served with her own lawyer helping her with these strategic decisions. There's not enough information on Avvo to give sound advice and also this is a public forum. I can imagine the husband or his lawyer seeing this posting and knowing exactly who posted it.
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Divorce / Separation Lawyer
Before doing anything, your friend needs to gather some information. She should speak with an attorney to better understanding the potential risks/consequences of such a "loan", and what options she may have to make certain the funds are repaid. There are also potential risks of taking out another $30,000 while they are still married, without any binding orders/agreements in place. She also needs to gather information about California laws governing spousal support. Absent this, she may cause herself serious legal harm later on.
I strongly recommend that she contact an attorney directly, give him/her the information and documents necessary to be able to properly and accurately advise her. The information provided here is not sufficient for any kind of reliable response. It's kind of like telling a doctor "my chest feels tight" and requesting a diagnosis from that; too many unknowns.
I hope this helps.
Since the information provided in your question is very limited and I have not had an opportunity to review all relevant facts, information, and documents, you should not rely on any specific responses to your questions. The information offered here is general in nature given that the slightest bit of additional information could change a specific answer (i.e. we separated 1 year ago and he has been paying all my expenses. Q: Do I owe him that money back? A: Yes. But what if he used money from a community asset, like a retirement account, to pay it back. A: maybe some or maybe none). In short, consult an attorney to review all relevant information so s/he can properly and accurately advise you. This free service IS NOT a substitute for legal advice and should not be considered legal advice at all.