North Carolina child custody law, procedure for getting custody/visitation

It must have been quite a surprise when your ex-girlfriend named you as her daughter's dad. Since you are getting a paternity test, you must think that she is wrong and you are not the father.

Your question leaves out some important details, though. 1) Is she demanding anything from you (like child support)? 2) Are you already in the legal system (has she filed a claim against you with the court, or you against her)? 3) If you are the father, what kind of relationship (if any) do you want to have with this little girl who lives in NV, and what are you willing to give up to make it happen?

Under the laws of every state, both parents have a duty to help pay to raise their child. That duty doesn't change if the child lives far away, so that you can only arrange to see her a couple of times a year or less. If you take a paternity test and it shows that you are the dad, a NC court will most likely grant your ex's request to order you to pay child support.

Child custody / visitation is independent of child support. If a NC court decides who gets custody, it will make the decision based on the best interests of the child. If one parent provides all the care and support, buys the clothes, feeds the child, etc. and the other parent fights paying support, never visits the child, and denies being the father, the court is likely to have an easy time making its decision. I'm not suggesting that this is your situation, but these are some of the things a court looks at in NC when it considers the child's best interests.

Since the girl is in NV, custody might be decided by a court in that state. I do not know how their laws might differ from our laws in NC.

If you don't have to take a paternity test right now, think about whether you really want to take this step before you have to. What will you do if it comes back negative? What will you do if it comes back positive?

If you think you are the dad, and you want to have a relationship with your daughter, you should think about how you can start laying the groundwork now. See if you can build some bridges with mom. See if you and mom can work out a time for you to visit the child. Pay some child support. Any court will be impressed if you do some of these things before you have to.

Working out legal arrangements where mom, dad and child live in different states is complicated. If you want to start the process, or if she serves you with her own complaint, you should consider hiring a lawyer. If you cannot afford one, you may want to contact Legal Aid (www.legalaidnc.org) to see if they can represent you for free.

Good luck with your case.