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No fault divorce laws have had reform issues on the books for 10 years now why have we not seem any thing done

Boston, MA |

about it? Divorces are on the rise because of no fault, Older couples are in trouble with this law because no one gets the one wanting out to go to counseling it is not fair to any one . I am at a lose as how to get any one to help me, the courts just want to force the divorce through not save the marriage and I can tell you after 47 years and lots of children and grandchildren something is very wrong. Know that the marriage could be saved if he would just go to counseling, It should be manitory after all these years, Husband is just starting to talk to me but we need more time and someone who will say get counseling his lawyer is not leting us talk together in 4 way meeting that has caused problems, is there anything that can be done?

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Attorney answers 3

Posted

In Utah, you could do a Petition for Conciliation, but this would need to be filed before the divorce papers are filed. I would check with a local attorney to see if they have a similar statute on the State's books. The statute in Utah is 30-3-16.2. I hope this helps.

Brian Arnold Esq.
http;//www.theutahattorneys.com

Asker

Posted

He filed right after he asked me for divorce and he decided in very short time that he wanted out like two weeks after we had a fight home being robbied and destroyed by his niece that is what is behind everything

Brian Elliott Arnold

Brian Elliott Arnold

Posted

You need to look at the reason then for the divorce as put in the papers and ask the court to grant you time to do ordered court mediation or counseling. There are some domestic relation classes also that the court can accept if you and your spouse agree to go to counseling. The real problem you have here is that he wants to be divorced (at least his actions state such) and you don't. The best thing to do is try to get counseling but also to hammer him as much as possible to make him think twice about what he is doing.

Asker

Posted

Thank you this is the most help I have had, he doesn't want counseling and he gives no reason for the divorce. I will show this to my lawyer tomorrow. I married at 20 and i am now 67. he and the kids and grandkids are my whole life

E. Alexandra Golden

E. Alexandra Golden

Posted

This is Massachusetts -- the court will not order counseling. Mediation is offered as an alternative, but is not mandatory. Utah rules don't apply here.

Brian Elliott Arnold

Brian Elliott Arnold

Posted

That is why I put "in Utah", to help them brainstorm or see if there was something like that in Massachusetts. I don't appreciate the shot of "Utah rules don't apply here" when I clearly recognized that when I put "in Utah"

E. Alexandra Golden

E. Alexandra Golden

Posted

Not intended as a shot; however, if you read the questioner, she said that she would show your advice to HER lawyer. Your advice about court-ordered mediation, counseling and mandated domestic relation classes simply does not apply in this state, and it is not helpful to the reader. I wouldn't presume to answer a question about Utah law, let alone how a Utah court might actually treat a situation.

Asker

Posted

I wish I lived in Utah

Asker

Posted

The state of mass doen't believe in marriage I think Utah maybe the place to live at lest they seem to care more than mass.

Posted

This is a state by state issue. Some states want to make it easy and quicker to get divorced; others want to make it harder and slower. As a divorce lawyer, I see many couples that should stay together and I see others that should have never married in the first place.

It is very sad to see a long term marriage end in divorce. In my experience, with long term marriages like yours, I suspect your husband is having some mental health issues. Hopefully, you can ask the court for a mental health examination, to ensure he is competent to understand what he is doing.

This reply is provided for information purposes only and does not represent legal advice or an attorney-client relationship.

Asker

Posted

i have told my lawyer my husband has been acting differently not himself no one will listen now my counselor says that she thinks there is some thing wrong with him. But my lawyer will so nothing on that as he holds a job, he is a teacher, teaching something is has done for over 45 years now. His is a retired Ellectrical Engineer but teaching only the kids see him for more than a less than a hour a day. He has new friends not seeing his old friends not telling people that he is divorcing me, says there isn't someone else but won't tell me what is going on or why he is divorcing me. I don't like one of his new friends (his lawyer is one of the new friends, I met this guy once before but he wasn't one of my husbands close friends) Now my husband seems to be doing more alone. My husband has not gone to the doctors for a physical in over 15 years and needs to go, tells me he will go and hasn't gone I have taken care of my husband when he was ill after he filed for divorce making homemade soups. If his lawyer would stop trying to keep us apart maybe things would work out. his lawyer needs to tell him to go to counseling like my lawyer did I am going twice a week because I want our marriage to work I love my husband and want to spend what time I have left with him. Thank you Counseling and medical help is needed but No Fault tells me I have no rights and as he doesn't talk to me I am in the dark as to his where he is at.

Asker

Posted

My husband of 47 years should have a mental exam but will not because no one cares in this state they only want to push everyone into divorce wo they will make more money I need to find a paper or RV station I can get on I will tell my story everyone should know how anti -marrige this state is !!! Our country is going under and the attitude about marriage is part of it. there are no morals in this state and the country is not far behind and they wonder why other countries don't like us. I am anrgy as I have been a good wife and Motther and grandmother but who cares just throw me out with the trash that is all I am good for now so out with the trash and that is all this man wanted me for was to give him children raise them see you later sucker

Posted

It's sad to see a marriage of so long end, but It's not the role of the court to help you save the marriage. Under Massachusetts law, the role of the court is to oversee the orderly dissolution of the marriage when it has failed and make determinations about property division, alimony and child custody and support. The lawyers' role is ultimately to negotiate what those terms may be -- which is what happens at the four-way.

A marriage fails when someone doesn't want to be married anymore. Just because your husband is talking to you doesn't mean his feelings have changed. Freedom to associate with a person of your choice also means that you are also free to NOT associate with someone else. A judge can encourage couples to go to counseling, but cannot force two adults into participating. Judges will only order counseling where there are parenting problems because that is in the best interest of the child.

If you have not done so, have your lawyer approach his lawyer about putting a hold on proceedings and trying couple's counseling. The lawyer should pass the message along. There's also nothing stopping you from talking with your husband (assuming that there's no restraining order); however, I would not do so without giving your lawyer the head's-up. If your husband doesn't want to participate in counseling, perhaps you need to go by yourself and work out your feelings about what sounds like the inevitable end of this part of your life.

Good luck.

E. Alexandra "Sasha" Golden is a Massachusetts lawyer. All answers are based on Massachusetts law. All answers are for educational purposes and no attorney-client relationship is formed by providing an answer to a question.

Asker

Posted

Husband lawyer is stoppping husband from talking to me. His lawyer would not let any one talk in our only four way except himself . Everyone is having trouble with this lawyer not an divorce lawyer but a business one and he is nasty to everyone, abuses women. I have been in counseling twice a week and we would not be having a divorce if not for the robberies that have been going on for more than a year by his niece, she is terrorizing me had to get a restraining order against her afraid for my life

E. Alexandra Golden

E. Alexandra Golden

Posted

I'm sorry to hear that. Your husband may not be well-served. But the attorney's behavior has no relationship to whether the court can order couple's counseling.

Asker

Posted

I would like to know why the judge in my case has already decided the verdict in my case before we even go to trial. I thought My husband and I had to present our case before that was decided WHY IHAS IT ALREADY BEEN DECIDED isn't this the united states of america the land of the free? Give me liberty or give me death is the battle cry my relatives said before the revolutiona war yes my family has been here sincethe Mayflower. No fault divorce and the state of Mass. you area against everones best interest I declare war on you all

Asker

Posted

sorry for type o's amd hope you get the message this will stop I haven't begun to filght!!

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