The restraining order was just shoved in through our door. and my wife was not physically served it
Workers' Compensation Lawyer
You need a family law attorney. Most will handle restraining orders. You should act with some haste as your wife's court date is likely within three weeks.
Good luck to you.
Disclaimer: the foregoing was purely legal information and should not be construed as advice or the formation of an attorney-client relationship.
Divorce / Separation Lawyer
Many people think of service of process as a game of legal freeze tag. The movies give the impression that you have to actually take papers that are handed to you, or get tagged or touched by the server, in order to be served. In the real world, it’s not that tricky. Your wife has the papers and actual notice of the proceeding, so she needs to act to protect herself. A family law attorney can help.
Best of luck to you.
This response is intended to be a general statement of law, should not be relied upon as legal advice, does not create an attorney/client relationship and does not create a right to continuing email exchanges.