Asked 4 months ago - West Islip, NYFlag
My husband recently had an affair. The woman he had the affair with is claiming she is pregnant with his child. She first was requesting money for an abortion, then threatened to ruin us, then came back and asked for more money for an abortion and now has gone back to threatening my husband, me and my 10 yr old daughter. We have not given the woman any money to date, but want to get rid of her and have her out of our lives. She has begun threatening us and stating she is going to ruin our lives. We need to protect ourselves and our home. What can we do? Do we have any rights? We dont know for sure if the woman is pregnant and if she is that it's my husband's child.
The first step that you should take is notifying the local police of this situation. It may be that the woman's actions rise to the level of criminal conduct. Otherwise, you will have to wait and see if the woman initiates a paternity action. At that point in time, you can request genetic testing to determine if the baby is your husband's. If your husband is in fact the father, he will have financial responsibility toward the child. Aside from his financial support, the court cannot force your husband to participate in the child's life. Best of luck to you and your family.
Depending on the threats, you may want to obtain protective orders. As to the child being your husbands, you have a couple of choices. You cannot give her the money, and wait until the child is born to have genetic testing done. If it's your husbands, you can then have the pleasure of sharing your husband's income since he will be paying child support for the next two decades. Alternatively, you can have an attorney contact her, ask for proof of the pregnancy and a signed statement that it your husbands, and then pay for the surgical procedure that she requires, which will free your husband from lifelong support and contact. Your husband should know from the dates that when they were intimate, if the child is likely to be his.
This sounds like a complicated situation that could drag on. It may be worth your while to reach out to a family law attorney in your area to handle it in an above-board way now, from the beginning, including if she would like financial assistance to obtain an abortion (if abortion is what she wants).
The first thing you should do as a family is file a police report with your local police precinct.
Your husband, having been intimate with this woman, can file a petition for an order of protection in family court. You and your daughter will have to go through criminal court for an order of protection, which is a different process (and one I'm not qualified to comment on as I do not handle criminal matters).
Besides protective orders, there are also issues regarding paternity, child support, visitation and custody. Hence, I strongly encourage you to contact local counsel to obtain advice tailored to the facts in this situation and to explain to you the process and possible outcomes at length, along with your husband's rights and obligations to the child should it prove to be his.
Wendy A. Keegan, Esq.
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